Saturday, December 29, 2007

It's been awhile, I know, I know, but my just has been moving so quickly lately. I remember a post I wrote a year ago about how 'the rubber is going to hit the my I was going to stop spinning my wheels and how my dreams were going to come true in 2007.

Well, here I am, here it is, my new life and all the changes of my dreams. And, by the way, the burning rubber smell is filling my head with FUMES!!!!

Friday was my last day of work in the firm I've been at for 12 years. I left on a 5:15 ferry out of Port Jefferson, New York and I don't have any plans of returning. Not to say that I won't ever visit, but I'm not living there anymore. Two of my children still live on Long Island, my oldest son lives 90 miles from me in White Plains, NY.

I have fully relocated to Connecticut. I start my new job on January 7th. I begin training for the position as Hearing Citation Officer on January 8th (in the evening).

An even more important change is that Capt and I are getting married. And with that I'm getting two children, 12 and 10, a father-in-law, brother and sister-in-law, aunts, uncles and grandparents.

When we get married, they are moving into my house.

Not everyone, just Capt and his two children, my house isn't that big. And I doubt if everyone else in my new family could handle my quirks.

My future father-in-law got to experience some of my craziness on New Year's Eve when I freaked the heck out screaming, "We'll all get the Hanta Virus" after the kids broke the pinata in the basement and all the candy went flying all over onto the floor where a few months back there were remnants of a mouse, or mice.

Capt was holding his stomach doubled over in a fit of laughter and I was all, "what's so funny"? "If I would have just video taped you right now we would have won $10,000 easily on America's Funniest Home Video".

Apparently OCD is something to laugh about. Whatever.

It's good to be back ya'll. (or youse, for all my Long Island friends).

Please keep my mom in prayer, she had a few seizures and has been hospitalized in S.C. - thanks.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

The Ring...

I didn't have time to write a post with the picture last night, so I'm adding it now.

The diamond was in a ring of Capt's Great-grandfather's second wife and was willed to Capt's mom. The diamond was put into a setting for the first anniversary of Capt's parents. Capt's mom passed away in February, 2005. Even though I never got to meet her, I feel like I have through all the wonderful stories my future Father-in-Law tells of her.

I feel so honored that it was given to Capt by his dad to give to me as an engagement ring. I means so much to me that I just get all teary whenever I think about it.

Capt had picked out an engagement ring from his favorite jewelry store, but when we had taken our trip to Maine a few months ago as we were passing an estate jewelry shop I told him how much I love estate jewelry because it has such history. He then decided to ditch the 'new ring' idea and came up with this plan.

I think that is how it all went.

I was very, very surprised.

It's been really difficult to find the time to post lately. I have 6 more days of work on Long Island and after that I start my new job in Connecticut on January 7th.

Whenever I take a day off from work, I have to work extra hard the days before, so you can just image how stressful it has been getting everything ready for me leave forever.

Thank you all for all of your good wishes.

Capt and I wish you all peaceful holidays.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Friday, December 07, 2007

For the past 7 months, I've been helping my 9 year old neice with her homework. 4th grade is difficult, more difficult than I remember.

Last night we were going over her pronouns and came across this worksheet.

Do you see anything inappropriate with the circled sentence?

Why Men Shouldn't Take Messages

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Works For Me Wednesday

You have to fix a meal. What are the catch-all, quick-and-easy-dinners-that-still-manage-to-taste-decent that you keep on hand?

This is my youngest son's most favorite meal, he asks for it whenever it's his birthday. His German grandmother taught me how to cook.
This is what she would call, in her thick German accent: "Poor Man's Dinner".

Fried Spaghetti

1/2 lb. bacon

1 lb. spaghetti

1 onion


Cut bacon into small pieces, melt in a large skillet. When bacon is almost crisp, add chopped onion. Sautee until onion is tender. Add cooked spaghetti. Add salt.

That's it, done and delicious.

Guten Hunger (she would always say that too)

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

14 Karat Gelt

Happy Hanukkah to all my fellow Jewish Bloggers.

Just in case you're not aware of this important information, Godiva now offers a bag of Chocolate Gelt for the holiday. I just bought myself one for the first night of Hanukkah. ($8)

Does life get any better than this?

Mmmmm, Mmmmmm, Mmmmmmm.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

I’ve never heard this I have to share it with you.

I made an appointment with a dermatologist because my elbows have been cracking and just plain UG-O-LY looking and no matter what I did, I wasn’t able to make them smooth. And I would just love having ‘smooth as a baby’s bottom’ elbows before the springtime.

The appointment was last week. After getting a prescription for some magic elbow cream the doctor asked if I needed him to look at anything else.

I was about to say "no" when I realized that I had a small, mildly annoying, red, dry patch of skin on my back for the past year or longer.

As soon as he lifted my shirt he said, "That’s cancer". (As if I should have known.)

Just like that.

So, yesterday I went to a skin cancer specialist in New York City to treat Basal Cell Carcinoma.

It’s cancer, but not life threatening.

The specialist did a recipe of electricity, cyrosurgery, laser surgery and a dash of radiation. It’s all taken care of and it is all gone now.

During the electricity part of the procedure, I started feeling faint and told the nurse. They immediately had me lay on my stomach and in turning over I grabbed the metal side of the bed and received a painful jolt of electricity, enough to numb my left arm for a few minutes. Of course, only this type of thing could happen to me.

Anyway, I can’t help but think that there has to be someone else out there who is as ill-informed as me when it comes to this type of thing.

If you ever have a red, dry patch of skin that does not go away, get is checked out immediately.

Oh yeah, and don’t go and touch anything metal if you ever receive electro dessication treatment, unless you like that kind of thing.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

What would you do?

Let’s say you are being interviewed by two lawyers for a job and the male lawyer excuses himself. When he returns his fly is open. The other lawyer, a female, says nothing as the male lawyer walks around the room.

Do you say something?
Or do you remain quiet?

Let’s say the next time you meet with this pair of attorneys for your second interview, the male attorney has a pea-sized glob of blue gel toothpaste on the corner of his mouth. The female attorney obviously sees it, yet says nothing, knowing that this attorney is about to head off to court like this.

Do you say something?

Or do your remain quiet?

The pair have been partners for a few years.

What would you do?

Monday, November 26, 2007

Just Roll Your Eyes, I Always Do...

YNB: Babe, look out side, there’s a deer in the backyard.

CAPT: Wow, look at that.

YNB: It looks like a young buck.

CAPT: No, it’s fifty cents.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Guess What?


I am still amazed at the timing of the whole thing, God's hand was all over this.

Thanks for all your prayers.

I am so happy. It's been a long transition and I can't wait to be settled in with my new life.

Sunday, November 18, 2007


I did something very bold on Friday, or insane, either way, I'm glad I did.

Many of you know that I have worked as a paralegal, in another state, for so many years I can't even remember. I have lived in Connecticut since May of this year. Crazy, right? The commute (2.5 hours) is wearing me out. My sister has been gracious enough to let me stay with her during the week so that I don't have to drive home, but I live out of a suitcase all week. My weekends are spent in CT and I get upset every Monday morning when I leave my home to go back to NY. (Although my neice and nephew come running to me with big hugs and smiles when they see me, that makes it more worth while.)

A few weeks ago I gave my company notice that I will be leaving. Even know they knew this day would be coming sometime, they freaked out a little and asked if I'd stay until January 1st. I kind of agreed by stating, "I'll do my best." (At least I've learned a few things about the art of lawyering...)

Since then I've been interviewing replacements for my job on Thursdays. And I've been going on interviews in CT on Fridays. Thereby enjoying the benefit of long, three day weekends.

I haven't been getting a good feeling about some of the jobs I've seen or been offered in CT. Even though they know that I am not familiar with the types of law and procedures and they are willing to take a chance on hiring me, the jobs don't seem right for me.

Panic started sinking in last week when I realized that the jobs that are hiring are for corporate positions and I'm not the 'corporate' type. And parking fees for corporate jobs are expensive, some are over $250 per month! I'm used to working around the corner and coming home for lunch. Not only that but $250 would cut into my shoe and handbag expense and I just can't have that, right?

Also, I'm used to being in charge, being the's going to be a huge adjustment to not be in charge at work.

More importantly, I want to do the same thing I've been doing, I feel more comfortable doing the same thing and I will feel more confident doing the same type of job.

So Friday, I put on a suit, got my brief case, put a nice, crisp resume inside it and drove to a local firm that specializes in Family Law. I said a prayer and walked inside.

I had been driving past this firm for a few years. I've been asking local attorneys about them and their reputation since I moved in. I've been searching the internet and newspapers for jobs that they might be offering, to no avail. Ever since I've moved here, I've wanted to work there. It would be the easiest transition for me. And I know that my experience would be a great asset to them.

The receptionist gave me a big smile when I told her why I was there. She brought me into the waiting area and told me that the partners will be in to see me in a few minutes.

"Strange", I thought, they didn't even know that I was coming. It is very unusual for an attorney practicing family law to be available on a Friday (visitation issues are high priority on Fridays), no less two attorneys being available at the same time.

When they came in they had looks of amazement on their faces. They both commented on how unusual it was that I would just walk in and ask for a job. It seems that they both had just then at that exact moment decided to hire a paralegal and were discussing it together.

They both commented on how weird it was that they were both free to sit and talk to me for the two hours that they did because the past two months have been crazy with trials and their workload has been overwhelming.

I liked them immediately. They showed me around (which is always a good sign) and asked when I would be available to start, if, of course, they decide to hire me. When I told them January 1st, they said that is when they would need me to start.

They seemed to like what I had to offer them, not that they were looking for someone who could do the things I can. They even seemed okay with the salary I am looking for, even though they weren't planning to hire someone for that salary. They said that they would have to create a position for me, something new that they never tried before.

I told them how much I am interested in the job and the firm, how I feel like the other jobs offered to me just didn't feel I've never just walked into a firm and asked for a job but I just felt so compelled to.

So, now I wait to hear from them.

And I am totally amazed that I did something so brazen and bold.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

This past weekend I went shopping at Walmart.

If anyone reading this knows me personally then you must be scratching your head right now because Walmart is not where I usually shop, ever, because Walmart scares me....the confusion, the sales, the merchandise.

But my life has changed. I now am living in a rural town and any kind of store is hard to come by.

More importantly, some of your posts have convinced me that shopping at Walmart is a fun and happy thing. And I thank you for that, because you are right. I stand corrected. Walmart is a shopping experience that I am feeling more comfortable about.

Capt, me and the kids walked into Walmart and immediately rallied around a huge container of DVD’s for sale. ‘2 for $10', what a bargain!

The container of DVD’s were all scattered around, haphazardly, careless, willy nilly, in a messy, unorganized pile. We all dug down deep in the pit of never-ending DVD’s and pulled out a few worthy ones.

As we looked at our picks, deciding which 2 we wanted to purchase, I posed a question to my loved ones:

"Is it just me, or does anyone else have an uncontrollable desire to organize all of these into a neat, organized, alphabetical pile?"


*weird looks*

And finally: "Um, no, Theresa, that’s just NOT right.", said the boy, adamantly disagreeing with me.

Thus marking the first time in the 3 years that I’ve known him, to take a stand against my unique (his words, not mine) quirks.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Curvin' It Again

For the past couple of months, I've been working out at Curves, again.

I'm sleeping better and feeling better. I feel like I'm even walking straighter and stronger.


I think I may have to write a letter to the company.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The New Generation of Fashion Police

I woke up this morning, made some cornbread and left for the gym.

When I got back I ate, took my shower and got dressed.

I put on a nice brown skirt, brown sweater, stockings and brown boots. I was feeling all together.

When I walked out of the bedroom all ready for work my 3 year old nephew, who just learned how to talk in complete sentences, stopped me in my tracks.

"You wearin’ THAT Aunt Terri?" he asked me as he squinted his eyes at me and held his hand up towards my face.

"Yes, is this outfit a problem?" "Does it not work?" "Should I change?" I asked him.

"Yes, no like it Aunt Terri", he said as if he was the fashion police, "Change!"

I’m pretty sure I’ve just experienced one of the most insulting moments, yet funny moments of my life from a 3 year old boy.

Friday, October 26, 2007

An Innocent Observation

Pookie (age 12): See all those men walking their dogs in the neighborhood?

Me: Yes.

Pookie: Have you ever noticed that in the warm weather it’s the women walking the dogs? And now that it is getting chilly all the men are doing the dog walking.

Me: Ummmm, Hmmm, good observation Pookie.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Oh My Land Have I Been Busy

But I have great news. And am in need of advice.

So where do I start?

How about with the good news?

Yesterday we (me, my sister and niece) drove my 26 year old nephew to Boston where he was scheduled for a battery of tests and a meeting with his neurosurgeon. (John has an extremely rare disease called Moyamoya). He is supposed to see his neurosurgeon every year but as he is getting older and his parents get busier and life just happens, (his dad just had a double lung transplant and is doing fine) everyone has put it on the back burner because John has been stable.

So five years have passed since his last Boston appointment.

And his mom, my sister, doesn’t drive off of Long Island.

But I do.

So off we went.

And, by the way, yesterday Boston was a very busy little town. It seemed like everyone there was wearing Red Sox apparel. Children’s Hospital of Boston is very close to Fenway Park. Very close. Traffic was at a stand still.

Mental Note: I should really start paying more attention to sports, even if it is only to forecast the traffic situation.

Note to Readers: I don’t like to watch sports, except basketball, that’s fun to watch.

John’s tests were supposed to start at 11am and the last appointment was scheduled for 4:40pm.

The hospital had mercy on us since we had a long drive ahead and let us see the doctor at 2pm. We got to leave Boston at 3pm instead of 6-ish.

Pure Grace!

The results are that John is no longer on the critically ill list. Praise God! There is no more damage to his brain. He is expected to live a long life.

It is a miracle considering the damage there is to his brain from numerous strokes.

As for your niece has been telling untrue stories.

All the time.

It’s getting to the point of concern.

She is 9, she is adopted, she has ADD and she is beginning to realize that she isn’t at the same educational level as other children her age.

Have any of you had a child that continuously lies?

If so, what did you do about it?

My heart just breaks for her.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Empty Nest

Last night we took the ferry ride together, my youngest son and I, all the way to CT.

It's been a long time since any of my children spent a whole weekend with me, usually they are too busy to come out and visit so we just get together during the week. (I work on Long Island, NY and live way up north in CT.)

At first it was shocking to hear the words, "Mom", interposed in consecutive sentences as we sat across the booth from each other. It was a shock that reminded me of days long ago when I would be lost in thought as I was doing my chores and I would be interrupted by being summoned by one of my children, "Mom, Mom", I would hear. And then I would cast my eyes downward to answer back only to be shocked that in front of me stood a grown teenager, taller than me. "When did he/she grown that tall?", I would think to myself.

That kind of shock is what I am talking about.

I've been insulating myself out here in the woods. It's good though; my children are grown and since we've all gone our separate ways (6 months ago) I see good changes in their maturity.

I've just forgotten how much I miss being their mother....and hearing myself be called, "Mom" in person.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Green Thumb

I did something this morning that I rarely do.....I went to a deli on my way to work to get myself some breakfast.

As I was standing in line, I recognized the ‘gentleman’ standing in front of me.

Which is not a good thing.

At all.

A few years ago my children set me up on a date with him, Jack (not his real name, not even close).

Our first date was nice and short. I remember we walked a lot.

Our second date we met at a restaurant and had a good time chatting about our children. His daughter and my twins are good friends.

When he got up to leave with me I commented to him on how he must have had a hard day because he seemed a little stiff.

He laughed and said, "Didn’t I tell you that I have a wooden leg?"

"Oh, ummmm, no, I mean....I didn’t realize....ummmm", was all I could think of saying.

Not that it was a problem, it was just a surprise since as I explained above, we did a lot of walking that first date. And I am clueless....most of the time.

The next day my son asked about my date and I told him that Jack was a nice guy and that I’d go out with him again.

Then he told me a story about Jack.

It seems that Jack likes to grow a type of plant in his home and he raised his daughter in an environment were smoking said plant was encouraged and shared.

So when he called me to set up another date I told him that I felt it was best that we didn’t continue further.

And he got angry.

And later on he found out the reason why I didn’t want to continue dating him.

And he threatened my son with something like, "If I ever see you again we’re gonna talk". And I doubt if he meant that in a nice talk way.

I was standing behind him a little while ago and he turned to look at me and recognized me. I just smiled and turned my head and thanked God that I have a wonderful son and a wonderful man in my life.

Unfortunately, I have a few of those 'bad date' stories.

There's one with a former Dallas Cowboy who got food poisoning on our first date and had to sleep over.

There's one where my date got very angry at me for not having pictures of my children with me. Whew, got out of there fast!

There's one where my date gave me a stern talking to for not finishing my dinner.

In my experience, dating in your 40's is not fun.

Until you meet the right man.

Do any of you have strange dating stories to share?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

An Afternoon With The Elite

This week I had one of the wealthiest men in the world in my office.

Wealthy as in, Oprah and Bill Gates-ish wealthy. Close to that type of wealthy.

It wasn't that I was so much impressed with his wealth, I didn't treat him any differently than any other client going through a divorce, it was what he ordered for lunch.

After sitting in my office hammering out the final details of his settlement (5 hours) I heard his stomach start to growl.

I asked if he's like me to send someone out to get him lunch.

His eyes lit up.

So I rattled off all the possibilities I could think of that he could have from the area. Sushi, steak, Italian, Greek, Chinese.....

When the secretary came into my office to take his order he asked for a burger and fries from Wendy's, hold the pickle.

When she brought it to him, he devoured it with a passion and gusto, right there at the other end of my desk.

And I just sat back and smiled.

Oh, to be that wealthy and appreciate the little things in life.

(He even shared a french fry with me.)

Monday, October 15, 2007

God is Love

In my quiet time with the Lord this morning (which took place on a 1 1/2 hour ferry ride), God showed me something that hit me hard.

So hard I wanted to scream "HALLELUJAH!!!!" over and over again. And jump up and down with my arms raised.

But I resisted out of pure consideration for my sleeping cabin mates. 'Cause that's how we roll on the first early morning ferry out of CT....we sleep.

The great revelation that God showed me was from 1 John 3:20....."God is greater than our hearts".

There are so many times when my heart feels discouraged, when my heart feels hopeless, when my heart feels like God must hate me for what I just did; but, HE IS GREATER THAN MY HEART. (And my heart can be awful at times.)

Just think about it for a minute or two.

I've always known this...that God's love is pure and truth, but I never thought about how He is greater than my heart.

It just blows me away.

What has God been showing you? I'd love to know.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Living In Denial

During my lunch break I thought I'd stop by the local grocery store and help my sister out by getting some Halloween candy for her.

Instead of leaving it in my car, I brought it into my office.

And instead of leaving it in the kitchen, I put the bag on my desk.

And just to make sure that they weren't stale or anything, I ate one.

And one more, just in case.

And another.


Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Because You're Dying To Know

Things around this blog have been pretty scarce lately. I haven't found the time to think about blogging much.

Since I've moved to Connecticut I haven't found a routine yet. Heck, I'm still living out of suitcases.

Hopefully I'll find a job in CT next year and my life will settle down.

Here's a Meme I picked up from Dawn.

My Blog name is: Yew Nork Babe

But people usually call me: Theresa, Aunt Terri, Babe

I was born here: Brooklyn, NY

And I've lived here: Wantagh, Levittown, Lindenhurst, Farmingdale, West Sayville, Bohemia, Sound Beach, Ronkonkoma (all on Long Island)

Until I wound up here: Connecticut (5 months ago)

My occupation is: Matrimonial Paralegal, Office Manager, Bookkeeper, Calendar Clerk. I'm also a Hearing Citation Officer in Connecticut, but that doesn't officially start until January.

My favorite color is: Green, but I'm starting to like blue and orange.

My favorite hobby is: Cooking and Baking.

My favorite season is: Autumn. Last weekend we took a trip to Maine and sucked in all the beautiful foliage.

A few favorite books are: The Time Travelors Wife. Middlesex. East of Eden. The Life of Pi.

My favorite kinds of music are: It is so varied I can't put my finger on it, but I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE NICKELBACK!!!! I love their deep, gravely voices and the way they write their songs. I just "get" them, even if I probably shouldn't be listening to that type of music.

Some of My Favorite Movies Are: When Harry Met Sally.

My favorite actor is: Meg Ryan

My Favorite Food Indulgence is: Avocado with lime juice and Kosher salt, but lately I've been liking me some chocolate (which I've never liked before).

My Favorite Drink is: Perrier sparkling water with lemon. Zero calories, no chemicals. I don't like flat water anymore.

My Favorite Dessert Indulgence is: Creme Brulee

One Weird Thing About Me: Oh my land, there are so many. I freak out whenever I'm driving in a snow storm because I can't see the sky, or the ground. I feel like I'm suffocating.

One of My Fantasies Is: To take a trip to the Grand Canyon and watch the sunrise and sunset.
One of My Pet Peeves Is: (Again, so, so many.) I don't like to look up bible passages when I'm being told to....I'd rather listen to the speaker read the passage(s) from his/her own bible. I know, I'm such a rebel.

Well, consider yourself tagged, if you'd like.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Destination Unknown

I’ve known for a few weeks now that Capt had a big surprise Columbus Day weekend getaway planned for me and him.

The only clue I had was that we were not taking a plane to get there.

Since we were driving to our destination I figured the climate wouldn’t be too different.

It had been forecasted that the weather in NY and CT will be in the upper 80's, low 90's for the weekend, so I packed up summer-ish clothes. I also packed my bathing suit, just in case.

After his son’s baseball game on Saturday we started heading North. And we didn’t stop talking until we reached here some 5 hours later:

In Boothbay, Maine.

MAINE. Where it's cold. And near Canada.
We ate lots of these :

And they sure do taste fresher than NY lobstas.

And we ate lots of these

And we talked. Lots. Of. Non-stop. Talking.

And the foliage, there was aplenty.

Amazingly beautiful.
What a wonderful surprise and what a wonderful man... still after 3 years.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

A Train Ride To Love

The houses where I stay during the week are very close to each other. Directly outside my bedroom window lives the perfect family, a mother, daughter, son and father.

Most nights I hear them getting ready for bed because they tend to put their young children (7 and 3) to bed at 10pm on school nights. The interesting thing about that is that the children wake up early too. But it works for them.

One night this week I overheard the father preparing the kids for bedtime. He was louder than usual. It went something like this:






There was lots of laughter going on in their house.

I surmised that the father must have been teaching the children about the solar system.

This went on for about 30 minutes and ended at 10pm.

It's been a long time since I had a good cry, but I cried that night.

And I'm still not sure why it all hit me like that.

Maybe because of the loss of my children's youth. Maybe because there never was a father for my children. Maybe because it was such a perfect example of a whole family interacting with each other in a fun and educational way....something I've never experienced.

Whatever the reason, I am going to treasure that glimpse into my neighbor's lives for a long time.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Fruit Cake

The's delicious.

It is glorious.

I joined a new bible study recently:

Beth Moore Living Beyond Yourself.

At my ripe old age, I have homework, lots of homework.

And as a result thereof, instead of waking up at 4am every morning, I now sleep until 7am.

I feel like I'm becoming human again. And fruitful.

Sunday, September 23, 2007


Last night Capt and I watched an amazingly good movie, "Facing the Giants".

Highly recommended.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Children are Conduits for Disease

Hi friends,

Here's why I haven't been around all week:

On Wednesday I started to feel like I was getting sick.

By Friday morning I had a bad case of hives, so I left work early and went to see the doctor.

He sent me home (160 miles away) to rest, where I laid in bed until Tuesday morning coughing up a lung.

Whatever this sickness is, it has officially kicked me in the butt.

Yes, I am butt kicked.

And my brain is in more of a fog than usual.

Hope youz don't catch it.

Thursday, September 13, 2007


I read this interesting article this morning and it’s been on my mind all day.

Mayor Bloomberg (NYC) has launched a $50 million pilot project (private, not public funds) to pay poor families to do the right thing.

Get your kid a library card ..get paid $50

Take your kid to the dentist for his 6 month check up..... $100

Annual check up.... $200

Your kid passes a standardized test....$300

Statics show that if a family is on public assistance, the odds are more favorable than not that the children they produce will also be on public assistance when they become adults.

So, Mayor Bloomberg is giving these families a positive incentive to break the cycle. I’m all for that.

For two years, when my three children were young, I had to go on public assistance. I was a single mother going to college without any support from their father.

When I graduated, I got a job and promptly said my goodbyes to that ‘welfare’ nightmare.

There were times when I would be sitting in the lobby of the social service office, waiting for my case worker to call my name, and someone next to me would strike up an unsolicited conversation with me and tell me how I could get more assistance if I wanted. "Have another baby, after 4 kids they give you a furniture allowance." "Make sure your kids are dressed in rags when you come here, your kids look too clean." I never ran into a person there that wanted to get off of public assistance.

All I wanted was get a good college education, get off of public assistance, and start living a better, more productive life for me and my children.

And I did.

For many years after, a case worker would call me once a year to take a survey regarding the status of my children and my finances. I would answer honestly to all her questions. And she would commend me for becoming what she considered a ‘success story’ for staying off of public assistance.

I honestly believe that the program will work; hopefully for the parents to better themselves and most likely for the children, who will be receiving the tools they need to succeed in life.

Sometimes all we need is a direction, a goal, an incentive to break out of a cycle.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

(Jacks always bring me back to a happy time in my life.)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

A New Day

Today marks the 6th anniversary since of the downfall of my marriage. The 9/11 attack on our country, in our state, was too much for my former husband to handle emotionally and spiritually, so he made choices that destroyed our marriage.

I’ll never understand just doesn’t make any sense.

To take my mind off of the looming 9/11day of depression that takes over NY each year, last night, on a whim, I took a belly dancing class.

First I asked if I’d have to show my belly. When the belly dancer instructor said "not if you don’t want to" I knew then that taking the class would be easier for me.

My belly showing days are WAY over.

So I shimmed, shook, bumped my hips and ran around in circles with a scarf flowing gently behind me with 12 other women.

We looked so HOT. And we got a good workout. And some good laughs.

When we all packed up to leave, the women all commented on how much they were going to ‘enjoy’ their husbands tonight after all the sensual movements we just learned.

That is NOT what I needed to hear.

Yet still, I’m getting more and more used to this single life of mine and am finding more contentment in this place that God has me in.

And that is all that really matters.

And I understand and pray for the people that have been effected by the 9/11 attack in ways that only they know and comprehend, like me.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Music To Your Ears

Italian Tenor Pavarotti died today. How sad. I loved listening to him.

As we sat at the breakfast table this morning, (me, my sister, my 9 year old niece and just turned 3 year old foster nephew) we quietly watched the news and heard Pavarotti sing at his last performance.

As soon as the song was over, Jay (the newly turned 3 year old holy terror) opened his mouth, stretched his arms wide and sang, in perfect pitch, the last few chords of what we just heard.

We all just turned to him with our mouths opened in awe.

We think that Jay has found his calling in life.

Keep you eyes open for the next famous Tenor!

You'll recognize him by his obsession with Tow Mater from Cars and his firm determination to never be potty trained.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Drive, drive, drive

I’ve been doing quite a bit of driving these past few months.

About 500 miles per week.

It’s starting to bother me because a lot of my time is spent in my truck; a lot of my money is spent on gas.

One thing that disturbs me about all the driving is when the car in front of me decides to spray his windshield while driving 70 miles per hour. My windshield gets sprinkled.

This usually happens once a week while driving early in the morning, facing east.

That is when I realize how stubborn I actually am because I absolutely refuse to turn mine on just because the car ahead of me did and messed up my view.

I imagine the person in the car ahead of me looking in his/her rear view mirror waiting for me to do so and snickering.

I make it a point of not giving in.

"You can’t control me!", is what I scream in my head.

I think I have deep rooted problems.

Well, actually, I know I have deep rooted problems.

* Happy 70th Birthday QFiL!!!!!*

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


He's doing well, they took him off of the respirator after 24 hours and he's breathing on his own and out of ICU.

Thanks for all your prayers.

It truly is a miracle how someone can receive another's lungs and just start breathing.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Right now, at this very moment, my brother-in-law is receiving a double lung transplant.

Please keep him and the family in prayer.

Thank you.

Monday, August 20, 2007

I Heart Teenagers

It’s no secret that I have a heart for teenagers.

The teenage years are the greatest in life.

Whenever I see a group of them I have to smile. The angst, the emotions, the sneakiness, the struggles to figuring out the’s all exciting to watch.

Yesterday, my daughter brought over her new boyfriend, Jay, for dinner.

He’s someone I met before and like, but the story he told me about when he was a teenager made me love him all the more.

He had three buddies he palled around with, one had his sights on horror film making and one was interested in creating the type of make up where it looks like you’ve been stabbed or disfigured and such.

Jay’s parents went away one weekend, leaving him, a teenager at the time, home alone.

Jay and his friends having a house all to themselves decided to create a short film in the kitchen. A horror film, of course.

They set up bloody foot prints on the kitchen tile, a bloody noose hanging from the ceiling, and took Polaroid shots of one of the boys lying in a pool of blood looking as if he was beaten to death by the other two.

They left the photos on the kitchen counter and the rest of the mess for that matter, and left the house to go about doing whatever it is teenage boys do.

Jay thought his parents were coming home tomorrow and that he would have a whole day to clean up the mess.

But his parents came home early to an empty house. And were horrified and rightfully shaken up. From the evidence left behind, they thought that Jay and his friend committed murder and fled.

When his dad finally located Jay, it took him a half an hour of pleading and explaining to convince his father that it was all staged and innocent, especially since the ‘victim’ jokingly refused to show his face in order to prove Jay’s innocence.

Teenagers. They really do crack me the heck up.

Friday, August 17, 2007

What's With That?

I'd like to know why after all year of exercising, dieting, staying fit and in shape,
now that it all counts, I'm out of shape, eating poorly and flabby now that it's summer?

And it's not just me.

All my friends seemed to have done the same thing.

Too bad we can't walk around wearing bathingsuits in the winter.

Oh well, I think I'll eat another piece of chocolate.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

My View On Gambling

My sister and I were watching morning television yesterday when a commercial came on for a drug to stop Restless Leg Syndrome.

I happen to have RLS, but in a minor way.

When I get tired at night, usually around 8pm, my legs start a jumpin’. It looks as if I’m having a seizure. If I keep my legs confined during this time, my upper torso jerks instead.

It’s really quite a fetching sight.

(Just add that to the list of probable reasons why I haven’t found a husband yet.)

I usually am asleep by 8:30pm on any given night, so the festivities don’t last very long.

At the end of the commercial it claims that one of the side effects of the drug they are marketing may cause an increase urge to gamble.


Did I hear that right? GAMBLING?

You can take a drug that makes you want to gamble?

I’ve never been much of a gambler. In fact, the whole concept of gambling escapes me.

I’ve watched people gamble at casinos. To me, it doesn’t even look like they are having fun.
Once I put $20 into a slot machine and lost it all.

That was over 10 years ago and I still feel like I wasted my hard earned $20.00!

The way I see it is: I work too hard for my money and to throw it away on a slight chance of getting more isn’t worth all of that hard work.

Getting back to the drug - I’m just wondering if I take it will I feel differently about gambling?

It amazes me that a drug can cause an increased urge to gamble.


Is gambling really a disease that can be affected by a drug?

It’s just one of those things rolling around in my head right now and I thought I’d share it with you all.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Dave Stopped By My Office Today.....

"Mom, some days I feel like I've been handed a poo sandwich, except without the bread.....and extra poo."

"Dave, I'm so honored that you come to me when you need encouragement or advice, it makes me feel like you value my opinion"

"Yeah, that and my drug dealer didn't pick up his phone".

Friday, August 10, 2007

This morning, my 2 year old foster nephew sneaks into my purse and takes out my cell phone.

He starts rapidly pressing the buttons so I ask, "Hey, you’re not calling China are you?"

"No", he softly says.

Then he shoots a devilish look at me and loudly exclaims into the phone, "HELLO, CHINA?"

(Me thinks he has mastered the art of teasing his aunt.)

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Hey, I Wanted Those Hamburgers!!!!

About once a year I get asked to assist a well-known Hampton area chef with a fundraising event. It’s usually a big affair.

One year it was the Gilda Radner Cancer fundraiser where Alec Baldwin wanted to leave Kim for me. I think it was the 100 or so pan seared scallops he was downing as fast as I was searing them. That man can eat! He never told me he would leave her, but I could see it in his eyes....and in my mind. My mind is a fun place.

One year it was a Paris Hilton fundraiser. She was as sweet as pie, really.

Another year it was a Barbara Walter’s 20/20 thingy where all the celebs lounged around the pool as I made hotdogs.

HOTDOGS! Barbara Walters eats hotdogs.

At least they were Kosher. They have to answer to a higher power and all.

This year it was the Hillary Clinton fundraiser.

I declined.

I don’t live on Long Island on the weekends anymore and I’d rather not do all that work for free anymore. Which, by the way, is the only reason they ask me to help. It makes sense since they are donating their food and services, they’d rather not pay someone to assist the chef.

That and I follow orders well.

If nothing, I follow orders well.

Or I’d like to think so.

So I missed out on the big Clinton fundraiser which was $1,000 a plate, or $250 a plate if you sat further away than the Clintons and didn’t hob-knob with them.

But I got to eat the food because today I got a package delivered to my office directly from the caterer. It was the leftover gazpacho, duck confort and duck liver pate.

I’m pretty sure they sent it in a effort to bribe me into doing the next event.

"Yum, was this what was served ?", I asked.

"No, Bill Clinton asked to take home all the mini gourmet buffalo hamburgers. He couldn’t stop eating them", she answered.

Well, that figures....wasn't he always being spotted at fast food places eating hamburgers when he was president?

Monday, August 06, 2007

How to Ignite Your Pastor Up in Flames

I've decided to start getting more grounded in my new neighborhood.

In addition to being appointed a hearing citation officer here, which goes into effect next year, I've been making it a point of getting to know my pastor and his family.

Sorry to say, but it's been about 4 years since I've had to be accountable to anyone. I'm the type of person that needs keeps me on the straight and narrow. And I tend to wander off now and then.

So I decided to invite my pastor, his wife and son over for dinner on Saturday night to get to know them better and to have them get to know me.

There were some difficult food restrictions duly noted and adhered to, not much of a problem. I made BooMama's famous Chicken 'n' Spinach Pasta Bake, sans onions.

As for dessert, I made some rugelach. A delicious Jewish cookie. Hey, I had to get my ethnicity known to them somehow.

Their teenage son ate spinach for the first time and actually liked it. Or was being polite about it. Being a PK (Pastor's Kid) is never easy, one of my good friends growing up was one and she would complain all the time about being a PK.

After dessert I asked if they would like to sit by the campfire and make smores. Yes they did. I love campfires.

Now, I know that it is most likely against the town ordinance to have a campfire in my 'preserved wetlands' backyard, but I just can't help it, I love the novelty of living in a rural town, far away from neighbors, on two acres of land...and I love sitting by a campfire in the cool summer nights roasting marshmallows.

So I started a fire out back. And we sat around it making smores. And we chatted some more. And we ate lots of smores.

What happened next I can only imagine happened because the pastor wanted to make a very important statement to me.

He turned his flimsy resin chair around, his back facing the fire, he looked directly at me with conviction in his eyes and raised his hands as if to make a dramatic point of what was about to come out of his anointed mouth. But he lost his balance as he sat there and fell backwards in slow motion.

Even though it felt like I had time to get out of my seat, stretch a bit, stroll over to him, stop and tie my shoes, check my manicure, catch a passing firefly and reach over and grab him from falling, all I could do is watch him and hope that he wasn't going to land directly behind him into the pit of fire.

Hey, his wife, the love of his life, his lifelong partner, sat next to me and she didn't move either.

After what seemed like a hour, he managed to twist his body into what can only be described as a pretzel shape on its side and landed on the outside rocks of the campfire and rolled to safety.

It was a close call though.

And having my pastor go up in flames wouldn't bode well with me in the community. I'm already convinced that my neighbors aren't going to like me very much once I start listening to their appeals regarding any zoning tickets they may get.

But still, I'm glad I wasn't the cause of my pastor falling into a pit of fire. That really would have not looked good for me.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Two Recent Conversations

YNB: I was up late last night watching a show where a man in his 30's was looking for a wife. The two last contestants were 25 and 48. The 48 year old was really hot looking. I hope she wins.

Female co-worker: Yeah, I’d love to be hot, but it just takes too much work.

YNB: Yeah. Me too.


Boy: What is this seltzer made of?

YNB: Water and carbonation.

Boy: What is carbonation?

YNB: Gas

Boy: How does the gas get into the water?

YNB: with a pressurized tool.

Boy: But how does it work?

YNB: Ummm, you’ll have to ask Dad, he knows all about that stuff.

Boy: Why would Dad know about seltzer?

YNB: He is an expert in gas.

Boy: Because he toots a lot?

YNB: No, because he is a fuel expert in his job.

Boy: Oh.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

More Lack of Sleep.....

On Saturday night I was told by Capt’s father, (QfiL) that I had a flat tire. Luckily my car was in my driveway and Capt was able to change it.

My first reaction was, "Yes, now I have a good excuse not to go to work on Monday", because I would never travel 160 miles without a spare in my car.

So on Monday, after a planned meeting with a headhunter, I had the hole plugged and while I was there, had a 30,000 mile check up. I didn’t know what I was going to tell my job about not coming in on Monday, I didn’t want to lie and call in sick and I didn’t want to tell them that I had a job interview in Connecticut.

So, getting a flat tire was a blessing.


By being home on Monday, I got a chance to get sworn in at Town Hall, after doing all my errands and got a change to take a long nap. Two hours long.

Whew!!!!! My head spins when I think of how crazy my life is sometimes.

My son David came home from China last night. Jen, his twin, took my truck to the airport to pick him up late last night.

And on the way back to her apartment, a tire blew. It was a different tire than the one I just got fixed.

It was dangerous but she handled getting them to safety.

She called and woke me up after I had fallen asleep one hour earlier.... and I’ve been up ever since.

Even when your children are older you still lose sleep over them. I worried about them being stranded in a bad neighborhood, not being able to change the tire themselves (it is complicated) and being taken advantage of by a tow truck company.

It was great to see David, he’s been away for two months.

We are both driving to CT after work so he can pick up his car. I’ve been keeping it by me while he’s been away.

Hopefully he will do all the driving so I can sleep because:


Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I'll probably have to delete this after Jen reads it.

I’m working on a tiny amount of sleep here people.

And I feel myself getting cranky.

And I kind of like being cranky.


On Friday, right after work, when I went to pick up my grand dog, Kage.

I was the first human to enter my daughter and son’s apartment since they left for work that lovely, sunny Friday morning.

I’m sure they were trying to be overly generous to Kage by leaving him out of his kennel the entire day like they did.

He usually stays in his kennel all day until either one of my children come home from work. He’s used to it and actually prefers to stay in there.

The image of what I found laying there all strategically deposited and smashed into the carpet from one end to the other from said grand dog I will keep to myself.

You’re welcome.

I just let Kage out and we sat there discussing our day as we watched the sunset. It was a one-way conversation, as usual.

When Jen came home, Kage and I said our goodbyes to her and we high-tailed it out of there as quickly as our 6 combined legs could carry us.

As I shut the gate behind us, I turned and saw steam coming out of Jen’s ears. Her eyes looked like they were about to explode.

I remember a couple of times when she was a diaper laden toddler exercising her artistic abilities on her bedroom wall with its contents.

Pay backs and all.

She is an accomplished artist now, although her medium of choice has greatly changed. And, thankfully, are a lot less smelly.

Kage seemed fine all weekend, it was apparent that he wasn’t 100% himself, but last night (I stayed home from work yesterday) at 1am I went to check on him and he was listless and burning up with a fever.

We immediately rushed back to LI and arrived at 4:00am. Then I followed Jen to a 24 hour veterinary hospital. When we got there Jen decided to not go in and instead drove to her vet and waited in the parking lot until it opened up at 9am.

It turns out that Kage has a bug and will get better in a few days.

I realize a very important fact: I am way too old to pull all-nighters like this.

I think I could actually fall asleep standing up, if I actually had enough energy to stand.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Is this Town Nuts?????... or Now I'd prefer to be called, "Madam Justice"

I can't decide on a proper title for this post.

I've just been appointed "Hearing Citation Officer" of my Town. I get sworn in tomorrow.

Yes, I'm honored. And excited. And I hardly have a clue as to what my position entails. And furthermore (lol), I'm worried that the residents here are either gonna really like me or really hate me.

Does this mean that from now on I have to be all nice and political in public?

Does this mean I'd better behave myself, especially since this is a very, very, small town?

The officials that appointed me obviously don't realize just what a smarty pants, goofball I am.

I just may have fooled them, for now.

I'm not sure.

But for now, I'm only gonna answer to 'Your Honor' or 'Madam Justice'.....'cause that's how I roll.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Hey, look what I got!!!!!

Thanks seeds from my garden!

I have to get back to work, I'll finish this post later.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

It's Not That Green

I know that 99 percent of my readers are married women and really have no interest in this post about the single world.

Yet, it's my life. So there.

And as a side note: my daughter called me last night and told me that I have over 1,200 hits on my site each month. She knows this because my header is hosted by her website or something technical-ish like that. I am shocked and surprised, since I don't really feel like I'm at all interesting to all you married readers especially you'all with youngins. But, I thank you all for stopping by and checking out this site like that. If you let me know who you are, I'd like to stop by and say hi. No, not at your home; I'm not the stalker type. It just would be nice if you delurked and let me know you stopped by so I can actually see this for myself.


The story is this.

Last month I was taking the ferry over to CT on a Friday evening after work. I had a table seat, which is rare since the ferries are usually packed with families on Friday evenings and they send their spouses to run up and save tables while they park their cars.

I was resting my head on the table when a young, shockingly blue eyed, gentleman came over and asked if I would mind sharing the table with him. I didn't, so he sat down. He started a conversation and I could tell right away he was a player and was trying to figure out what it was I would like to hear him say (lie) about himself.

The conversation was mostly one sided (his) and whenever I could get a word in I would mention my boyfriend, my church and how I was a mother of three adults. I wasn't flattered that this man was flirting with me. (Well maybe a little, he was handsome after all.) I was mostly aggravated that he was trying to use me for something. It was quite obvious. It was an uncomfortable ferry ride.

About a week later my single friend Karen was telling me that she just met a man named Mike a week prior and he already asked her to marry him and he was babysitting her young children and they loved him. She told me that she finally met the man of her dreams and nothing could change her mind.

She was in LOVE!!!!!

As she told me more and more about him, I realized that he had to be the same Mike I met on the ferry the week prior. Some of the stories he was telling me were the same.

He was already borrowing money from her. He already stole all of her spare change in her truck. He already borrowed the truck a few times, each time returning it without any gas left.

Still, she couldn't see.

Until yesterday.

Now she is out of a lot of money, not to mention her confidence and some of her dignity.

So just for today, do me and Karen a favor. Please love on your spouses a little bit for us singles out there and thank God that you're not out there in the dating world right now. There are many men out there who prey on single women with children.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm not happy with my life, because I am very happy with my life. And I haven't had to date around since I met Capt. And I love him.

It's just that for some of us it's not so greener on the other side.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


I really wish I had more time to do the things I'd like, but currently my life is extremely busy.

Most times I feel like a pinball bouncing from place to place, project to project, errand to errand.

I think that for the most part, I've gotten quite a bit accomplished in the past two months since my move. I've gotten my CT license and registered my car in CT. Today I turned in my NY plates. I even registered to vote in CT. And got my pass to the transfer station (dump) and lake. The sticker is on my windshield. I don't know why I am so excited about that, but I am.

At work right now a secretary is out on vacation for the week and the other secretary broke her leg and won't be back for a few weeks. I'm doing my best to hold my head above the paperwork, telephone calls, motions, solving problems as best as I can. I'm also working late and coming in early every day.

In addition to all of this, I miss my children. I have my oldest son in Beijing, China and I worry about him. My daughter is busy with her career and my youngest son is busy too. And I also miss my granddog, Kage.

I've been feeling like I have neglected this blog for the past few months because even when I'm in CT for the restful weekends I usually don't turn on my computer.

I know that things will turn around soon and that this is just a passing season in my life, but I just feel so unbelievably overwhelmed.

So I'm leaving work in a little bit and heading off to have dinner with my youngest son and to visit Kage too.

And I know that after that I will feel better.

Because there is nothing that even compares to family and I love being around them. They make me feel complete when I feel like I am being torn apart in different ways.

Do any of you ever get like this?

Monday, July 09, 2007

Like Father, like son.....

When Capt comes to my house and cuts the grass with the ride on mower its like a race car ride. Zip, zip all around the yard.

First he starts on the outer edges and speeds along until he gets to the middle. It takes about 15 minutes.

I find it very amusing to watch.

After Capt was done with the mowing yesterday, his son asked if he could vacuum my new oriental rug in den.

That was a first.

What 9 year old asks to vacuum? I really, really, really love that kid!!

He gets the vacuum out of the closet, turns it on and vacuums the same exact way his dad cuts the grass! No back and forth over the same spot. No. Not a son of Capt!

He started at the outer edge, pushing ahead and sped along until he got to the middle.

And.... it was quite amusing to watch.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Five Questions

I was over at RocksInMyDryer early this morning and picked up this meme from her. If anyone else would like to give it a try consider yourselves tagged.

1. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

That's an easy one - Haagen Daz Coffee Ice Cream.

When I was at the end of my pregnancy with my twins (age 20 and 85 lbs, at the beginning) I couldn't fit much more than a teaspoon of food in my stomach an hour. (The twins were huge, 7lbs and 5lbs 14oz. I was a little bitty thing with the largest watermelon you ever laid eyes on protruding horizontally).

So, I ate a pint of Haagen Daz Coffee Ice Cream every day just for the much needed calories. And the dairy. Oh, yes the dairy too. It was such a sacrifice, but I managed to force it down.

After giving birth, I weighed 75 lbs. The twins were very healthy.

My theory is that Coffee Ice Cream saved our lives.

So I pick coffee ice cream. After all, I owe it a favor.

2. What's the most nerve-racking "close call" you've ever had?

When my twins were 17 months old and I was 7 months pregnant with my son, we went on a family vacation during the winter. I was pushing the twins on a sled down a very small incline in front of our cabin in an attempt to get them tired before their nap. I told them," one more time, then it's nap time". As they gently glided down the tiny slope a terrible thing happened. The sled took a sharp turn at the bottom of the incline and started picking up speed on a patch of ice and headed for a ditch. The ditch was about 100 yards away and I ran as fast as I could yelling for them to fall off the sled. They just turned to me and started laughing thinking that it as so funny to see their mom running after them as they were going faster and faster.

What happened next was God's intervention because they hit a tree that was growing up from the ditch before they careened over the ditch into the rushing water.

They both had bumps on their heads, Jen hitting the tree and Dave hitting the back of Jen's head, but if they didn't hit the tree, I can't even imagine what would have happened.

Just thinking about that incident, which happened over 25 years ago, makes me all panicky.

3. Name five features your ultimate dream house would have.

Ice cube dispenser on the outside of the refrigerator. I'm an ice cube freak. I even drink milk on the rocks. To just hold a glass under the thing and have the ice cubes fall is a heavenly thing. Oh, and being able to ask my company 'would you like your ice crushed or cubed?' in a Julia Childs-like accent always cracks me the heck up.

Fireplace. I love the way a fire in the fireplace lights up a dark room.

Master bathroom. I like to have my own bathroom because sometimes I just have to go and waiting for someone else to get out is not an option. Enough said. Your welcome.

Skylights. So I can see the sky from the comfort of my home.

Hot tub. For too many reasons to list.

4. Who has been the most influential non-relative in your life?

I would have to say a woman I used to babysit for when I was a teenager. She ate healthy foods, traveled all over the world, lived within her means and treated her children like they were the most important people in the world, because they were to her. She was caring, loving, tender and kind. If her children were afraid of something, she would comfort them.

I ran into her last year and now she is a grandmother. The little girl I used to babysit for is in her 30's.....ouch. She is a wonderful grandmother to her grandchildren and I could see from their interaction that they respect and love her dearly.

5. What one non-physical feature would you most like to change about yourself?

My insecurities. I think I hide them well, but they are still there, every day, in the background, holding me back from being all I could be.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

The Thing That Feels Like Home

The furniture I ordered got delivered to my house in CT on Tuesday. A dining room table, chairs, china cabinet, leather couch, leather coffee table/ottoman, leather chair and ottoman.

My sister was there to let them in.

I drove up after work to see it. 3 hours and 15 minutes later I arrived. Rush hour traffic.

Then I left at 5:15am to get to work by 9am.

Crazy, I know.

It's the first time in a very long time that I bought new furniture. I gave away most of the old stuff before I moved. So I am very excited about it.

I can't wait to put all of my china in the china cabinet. It's all been sitting in boxes for months.

Tomorrow I travel back home for an extended weekend since the Fourth of July is on Wednesday.

I'm planning on unpacking all of my dining room boxes and setting up all of my girly tea sets.

And finally, it will feel like home.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Patience is the only thing that runs thin on me

God knows what he is doing.

I say that because at my age I can no longer bear children. Truth be told, I haven't been physically able to bear children since I was 23 years old. Yet, if that weren't true, and I was blessed with a child in my late 40's I think I wouldn't survive, mentally that is.

This week my sister, 10 months my junior, is staying at my house in Connecticut with her 2 year old foster child and 8 year old adopted child. I'm back on Long Island at her house.

Em, 8, is attending performance art camp for the week there. She is very talented.

Last month she played the lead role in a school performance of 'The Princess and the Pea". She stole the show.

She reminds me of Carol Burnett, only more beautiful.

Jay, the 2 year old, started talking this year.

And he hasn't stopped.

He talks constantly.

And he doesn't stop.


As I was packing to leave on Sunday, he followed me around the house as I collected my necessities.

"Leaving"? "Leaving"?

"Yes, Jay, I'm leaving"

"Leaving"? "Leaving"?

"Yes Jay, I'm leaving, but not right now, soon, I have to pack my stuff first".


"Soon, honey. I will say goodbye and give you a hug and kiss before I leave, okay"?

"Leaving, leaving, leaving, leaving, leaving, leaving, leaving, leaving, leaving, leaving, leaving, leaving, leaving, heaving"?

Right then I realized that God knows what he is doing. Because after 10 minutes of the broken record-like 'leaving' echoing throughout my furniture-free house as he stalked me from room to room, I was ready to rupture my ear drums with an ice pick.

Years earlier I would have had the patience.

I do love children.

But, unfortunately, at my age, patience is the only thing that runs thin on me.

*I have to just add this funny e-mail I just received from a friend:

Him: "I say that because at my age I can no longer bear children. Truth be told, I haven't been physically able to bear children since I was 23 years old. Yet, if that weren't true, and I was blessed with a child in my late 40's I think I wouldn't survive, mentally that is."

Gee... sounds like you just told the world that you and Cap are boinking uncontrollably...

My reply: Ooops, that's not what I meant......gotta change that. thanks

Him: yeah, cause you'd kinda want to keep that private. Unless there are pictures...

Saturday, June 23, 2007


Last night as I'm making hummingbird nectar:

Capt: "Babe, you know you could just buy that stuff in the store".

YewNorkBabe: "Yeah, I know, but all the birds in the neighborhood come here because my nectar is better....just like that 'Milkshake' song: MY NECTAR BRINGS ALL THE BIRDS TO THE YARD, AND THEY'RE LIKE 'IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS', DAMN RIGHT IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS...."

Capt: (rolls his eyes)

Thursday, June 21, 2007


I have found that the stairs on ferries are very steep and slippery when wet, so I am always cautious when using them, especially while wearing high heels, which is most of the time. I never claim to be smart, just fashionable.

The last time I traveled by ferry I was walking down to the bottom deck from the sunny top deck I felt the stairs shake and heard the person behind/above me falling.

Just like when mothers instinctively reach their right arm across the passenger’s side seat when suddenly stopping to protect their passengers, I, without thinking first, crouched down to assume a sturdy stance and reached out to grab whomever was falling. When I turned around to see what was falling my way I saw a very large, heavy, muscle bound, body-builder of a man getting to his feet. He just looked at me in shock that I would even consider catching him, then smiled and said, "that was a sweet gesture, but I doubt if little YOU could have caught ME".

We both stood their laughing and eventually went our separate ways.

Instincts are fascinating to me, especially those type of motherly instincts.

I remember when my friend Mary was 10 weeks pregnant. She had been married for several years and before that she had a career as a Broadway singer/dancer. She lived a ‘selfish’ lifestyle, by her own admission. When she was 10 weeks pregnant, she got a hold of me at church, took me aside and started bawling her eyes out. She didn’t think she could be a mother. She didn’t feel ‘motherly’. She thought that she would resent never working on Broadway again.
After she vented I smiled and told her that towards the end of her pregnancy she would feel much different, that an instinct will come over her and she will become protective and ‘motherly’. And we prayed together. I’m not sure if she totally believed me, but she seemed more relieved.

Mary is a stay at home mom of two children now and whenever we get together she brings up that meeting we had and laughs. She is one of the best moms ever. I’ve asked her if she misses her career at all and she always says, "no way, this is sooooo much better".

In what ways do you find your instincts come out?

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Trash Talk

This morning's conversation in the local convenience store:

Him, to the store clerk as he's grabbing the New York Post: "What type of person reads this crap?"

Me, grabbing the Post that he just put down, "excuse me".

Him: "Oh...I guess that answers my question".

(I'm wondering if I should be insulted or not.)

Afternoon telephone call:

Jeff: Theresa, sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, I was at my sister's wedding down south. I have lots of funny stuff to tell you, you're gonna pee in your pants. I'll tell you just one thing though, the man she married has a sister who is also his mother.

Me: Jeff, I don't even want to know how that is possible.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

I'm so lost without you

I realize that many of you may think that I must be a navigational expert since I travel back and forth from Long Island, NY to rural Connecticut every week. I know this because of some of your comments.

Truth be told, I don't even know what direction I'm facing in most of the time.

Living on Long Island was easy. All the streets go east and west and north and south. The island is 20 miles by 80 miles. If you hit the water you've gone too far. No problem, just turn around.

And shopping, well, you could just about walk around the corner and get anything you need at a strip mall. And that doesn't mean strip as in 'bow-chicka-bow-bow'. It means strips of stores. I had to explain myself to you all because Capt's children were wide eyed the first time I told them I was taking them to a strip mall. Come to think of it, the boy was a bit disappointed when he learned he wasn't going to see what he thought he was.

Boys. Hmmmmm.

I am finding differences in some other things in CT as opposed to NY too. Take pizza for instance. In NY we ask for a pie. Here in CT no one knows what you are saying. Pies only have fruit in them. You can't ask for a slice either. They sell pizza by the size. And then they cut the round pizza into little squares....weird. And hero sandwiches are grinders. And, as my QFIL pointed out to me, in CT you don't get on a line, you get in a line.

Oh, the education I am getting. Knowledge is power.

Where was I going with all this? (See. I even get lost when I write.)

Oh yeah, my navigationally-challenged self.

Now that I live in a rural town, in order to get anywhere I must drive many miles. Many miles. And make lots of turns on windy roads. Roads that merge. And never end. And when I finally see a sign that makes sense, I'm already in Rhode Island or Boston.

I am afraid to go anywhere that I'm not absolutely sure how to get to and how to get back from.

You have to understand, there really aren't a lot of main highways around here, so it does get confusing for me.

Here's where I have been leading up to:

When I got here this weekend I got a very, very early birthday present from Capt. My birthday is in December. Maybe by the time my real birthday comes around he'll forget that he already got me something. Maybe I'll forget too.

Oh the possibilities!

This is what he got me.....a Tom-Tom.

It is amazing, yet freakish, at the same time.

It knows exactly where you are at all times and shows you very simply how to get anywhere. It is so easy to use and that's saying a lot because not only am I navigationally-challenged, I'm also electronically challenged. I just have to press the screen with my finger and point to the places I want to go.

And it shows you were the nearest restaurants are. And gas stations. And ice cream shops. And department stores. It also can let you know if there is traffic up ahead, though I haven't figured this feature out yet.

So a little while ago I went for a drive by myself without a care in the world. And when I got lost I just turned on TomTom and the oh so pleasant voice told me where to turn to get back home.

Capt always knows how to make my life easier.

Now they need to invent a devise that drives the car for me while I take a nap or do my nails. That would be really nice.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Let it rain

Hi everyone! Thanks for all your kind and supportive comments about Ann's death, it really is so wonderful to have blogging friends!

I took a 3 day weekend so I could rest and recuperate from this past week. I didn't plan to take off today, Monday, it just seemed like a good idea at 4:00 am when I got out of bed and saw we were having a tropical storm here in Connecticut.
I'm having so much fun living here. I just wish it was full time instead of only the weekends.
This past Saturday morning I was cleaning the hummingbird feeders and making more food for them (sugar water). I was standing at the kitchen sink and I watched out the window as a green hummingbird was looking for the feeders. He flew all around the area of the deck where they usually are and then he flew directly in front of the window and looked right at me as if to say, "Hey Lady, where's my food already?" I raised my index finger to let him know 'one minute' and that seemed to satisfy him.
I named that one 'Harry', after my Jewish grandfather.
So I hung out all day doing nothing, except I cleaned out the fireplace and I organized my bedroom closet.
And listen to the rain pitter-patter on the roof.
Yeah, I could get used to this new life.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007


July 31, 1967
May 25, 2007

One of my favorite divorce clients was murdered by her husband this past Friday morning. This was especially upsetting because I had just spoken to her Thursday evening and she was concerned about her children because she was working so much (due to their father’s lack of support and defiance) and she couldn’t spend enough time with them. Their father didn’t want to have anything to do with them after she filed for divorce last year. She told me, "I feel like my children have lost both parents because I have to work 16 to 17 hours a day, 7 days a week".

Ann was 18 when she met her husband, 27 years her senior. She fell in love and had 4 wonderful children with him.

Ann was the type of woman who spend quality time with her children, taking them on cross-country adventures and making sure they pursued their talents. She loved her children with everything she had. She spoke proudly of each of them.

The coward that shot her in the face 5 times could not take away her beauty. As she lied there in the casket, the beauty that always radiated within her still shown on her face.

Ann would have been proud to she her children last night at the wake. They were strong, they were confident and they greeted the thousands of visitors with hugs and gratiousness.

A job well done Ann.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

A few pictures:

I've been a bit pre-occupied. I hope to post about it tomorrow.

In the meantime, here's some photos of my new home:
My bedroom:

Pookie chillin' out in the family room.
A view of the stairs from the livingroom:
The back yard decks:

My daughter Jen feeding the hummingbirds:

My son Dave left for China yesterday. I lent him my camera, so it might be hard to post more photos for awhile.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Hugs and Kisses

My first full week of staying at my sister’s house while I work on Long Island is over. Today we are all going to Hummingbird Acres for the 3 day weekend. So are a few other people. It’s going to be a full house of fun. And lots of barbequing. And lots of food.

My sister’s kids are killing me with hugs and kisses. Oh the cuteness! "Wait, Aunt Ewie, let me give you a hug"....I hear that a lot.

And I hear"Haviar" a lot. A LOT. Which, I found out, translates from babytalk into, "I will help you". Apparently not only do 2 year olds like to do everything themselves, they like to help you do everything too.

Then there’s the potty training. And the peeing. And there’s the’ pee-pee’ dance that I have to do when the 2 year old pees in the potty.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been around 2 year olds. It’s tiring. I do not know how my sister does it all day long, without a break, without another parent. But it’s worth it because nothing is better than all the hugs and kisses at the end of the day.

I'm kinda glad that my kids are all grown already and I don't have to chase after toddlers anymore, but grandbabies would be nice.



(they are gonna kill me for that)

Hope you all enjoy the Memorial Day weekend!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

It always comes back to bite you in the butt

When my daughter was younger, about 8, she began listening and understanding music. She might argue with you that the only music she even knew existed before she turned 16 was from what she heard in my car from a local radio station which only played oldies...but she could have listened to any music she wanted to, within reason...I never stopped her. Nor did I offer her any other types of music to listen to. I didn’t come from a musical family and music is not a big part of my life. It is interesting, however, that whenever I drive her car and turn on her stereo she has been listening to Bach, my favorite composer.

One of the songs that my daughter, Jen, loved was Cat Steven’s "Cat’s in a Cradle". She loved the song and the lyrics and would talk to me about how sad that song was. In a nutshell: It’s about a father who doesn’t have time to spend with his son and his son grows up to not have time to spend with him.

I’ve spoken about this before here and I still regret that day.

One thing that I didn’t share with you, because it was so painful, was that at first when she was waiting for me to finish talking with the neighbor she was humming very loudly so that I could hear the song, "Cat’s in a Cradle". It was her subtle way of letting me know that this was important to her and that this moment might never happen again. Even though I told my neighbor that I had to leave so I could play a game of basketball with my daughter, I continued to stand there with her while we talked away, feeling torn in two, wanting to have a friend and wanting to play with my daughter at the same time.

I’m sharing all this with you because the song came back to mind today when Jen called me at lunchtime today to cancel our dinner date tonight. "Something came up, I have a lot of work to do at home, we’ll have to do this next week", is what she said. "Ouch", I thought. Then the music started playing in my head.

Normally, I wouldn’t mind. But for some reason I can’t stop thinking that since tonight is the season finale of LOST, she is choosing, like I did, something that she’d rather do than entertain me.

Which is fine.



Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Me Me Want

Last night's conversation with my 2 year old nephew:

"Tewie, Me Me hair" - translation: Aunt Theresa, I want your hair.

"Jay, you want my hair?"

"Yessth, Me Me hair, off" translation: Yes, I want you to take off your hair.

"You want me to take off my hair?"

"Yessth, off hair Tewie, Me Me head" translation: Yes, take all your hair off and put it on my head.

"Umm, Jay, my hair doesn't come off".

"Waaaaahhhhhh" As he tugs on my hair.

*sorry about not posting the pics of my house yet, I plan to get it done this weekend.

Friday, May 18, 2007


It's Friday - whoopie!

Usually I am an organized person. That is one of my strongest qualities. All my other qualities are useless, and, unfortunately strong, and, most likely, the reason I am still single at my age. That, and the fact that I use too many commas.

So, in order to do this 'commute to work from state to state' thing, I have to stay in NY by switching between my sister's house and my children's apartment during the week. And I have to be very organized.

Monday mornings I leave my house in CT before the crack of dawn and drive to LI, NY. I have to make sure that I have packed enough work outfits and accessories to make myself presentable at work. And all my moisturizers.... oh my land.... I can't live without moisturizing every inch of my body twice a day; they take up a whole suitcase themselves.

Everything is working out except I am supposed to bring my own pillow and blanket, I forgot them this week.

The only thing I hadn't factored in was the cost of eating out as much as I have to. Or the fact that I have an uncontrollable need to spoil my niece and nephew everyday. Or the fact that I have no time to workout at Curves anymore. Or the fact that it is difficult to stay on the South Beach Diet when I don't have my own kitchen and all the basic staples that one needs to prepare the foods. So I expect to become a blimp by next month.

Other than all of the above, it's working out well.

Oh, and I don't know how my sister can stand all the cuteness that wakes up in the morning in their little feetie pajamas and climb down the stairs rubbing their little eyes as they run and dive in for their morning hugs and kisses! I just melt every morning.

Since today is Friday, straight after work I'm taking a ferry home, running up my driveway, unlocking my door, running up the stairs and jumping into my bed. I plan to sleep until 9am, which would be a small miracle since I always wake up at 4am.

I will post pictures of the house over the weekend since I have my laptop there.

And I have a question for y'all - Did any of you have housewarming parties when you move into your homes? My QFIL (Capt's Dad) is lovingly twisting my arm to have one. It sounds like fun but I don't remember ever going to one so I'm not sure what to expect or do.