Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Has This Ever Happened to You?

Okay, have any of you had this happen to you? It’s happened to me more than once, I’m not going to admit how many times, suffice it to say, it’s just more than once.

A few minutes ago, during my lunch break, I went through the drive-in at my bank to make a deposit. (Because one of the kids paid their rent a day early, good kid) The line was long, so I figured I’d make good use of my time and give Mom a call. By the way, she’s getting much better.

So it’s my turn to pull up to the booth and I pull up close because my arms are kinda short and I’ve learned to compensate because I usually forget I’m small since I think I’m tall all the time, but I digress. I put my deposit slip into the container and pushed the button. When it comes back a few seconds later, with my left hand I grab the container to take it out of the little elevator vacuum thingy and I say to myself, "don’t drop it, don’t drop it, don’t drop it" and I drop it!.

Then I think, "I’d better hang up on Mom" which I do by saying, "Gotta go Mom, something just happened". I hear, "What? What happened? Are you okay? Aren’t you just at the bank.......? click. Thank God her short term memory is a bit "lost" right now, she’s not gonna remember that I hung up on her.

Just like the last couple of times, I can’t open the door to retrieve the damn container because I’m so very, very close to the booth due to my length challenged arms. And I think, "well, I can’t pull up because if it’s under my tire, I’ll crush the stupid thing." So I buzz the chick in the bank window and ask her if she can see it and with a roll of her eyes (well, I couldn’t really see her, but I know she did) and said, "Yes, you can pull up a little bit". So I carefully pulled up a little, got out of my car and couldn’t reach it, so I kicked it a little bit towards the middle of my car. (I’ve learned a thing or two from doing this a few times). Next I gave the gentleman behind me the universal "wait a minute" sign, got back into my car and drove further. I then got out of my car, retrieved the container and bowed to the gentleman, got the receipt out and exclaimed, "Yes, I know I’m a ditz!!!".

I got back into my car and as I drove away I realized that I’m wearing a very low cut blouse and my top button has popped open. Hey, that guy got a real eye full. No wonder he was laughing while I was driving off.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Today's Blog is Brought to You By the Letter "Tee"

(I had a great long weekend with Capt and the kids. We ate too much and didn’t drink enough. We went to his grandmother’s farm yesterday for a barbeque. Then I left at 4am this morning and got home at 6:45. My house was a mess, bad kids. They put up a new stockade fence on the east side of back yard, good kids. Though the resentment continues......mainly because their rooms are too messy to show the house if I get a call from the realtor and there are dirty socks and used cups all over the house. So I had to spend an hour or so cleaning before work. They even spilled soda on the kitchen floor and didn’t wipe it up. AAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHH. But they put a fence up all on their own without me asking, or paying for it, yet. They really are wonderful.)

On a nicer note, I’ve been tagged by "Rocksinmydryer" with this:

Ten Significant Words that Start with the Letter "T"

Trees - I love trees. They are simply majestic.

Thomas - My baby. He just turned 24 years old. I wanted to name him Peter or Hans, but his dad wouldn’t hear of it. He looked more like a Thomas anyway. We used to call him Tommee when he was little, now he just likes "Tom" which rhymes with "Mom" and gets us both confused if someone calls us from another room. And he’s not so little anymore, 6'2" (although if he would straighten up and put his shoulders back he’d be taller) I just had to put that in there, I’m still his annoying mom.

Twins - I was blessed with twins. Enough said.

Theresa - my name. My parents didn’t "bother" to give me a middle name, but if I had a choice, it would be Prudence just because its unique like me. My daughter’s middle name is Theresa.

Tulips - they are so pretty sitting on a kitchen table.

Tennis - I was able to play before my "incident" at the hospital and I loved it. Now it is going to take a lot of practice before I can play again. My core muscles are shot to hell!

T-Ball - I like to watch little kids play T-ball.

Thursdays - I always have to work until 8pm on Thursdays. And one time two years ago I brought fried chicken for lunch/dinner to work on a Thursday and now my boss expects it every Thursday. So it’s fried chicken, work late Thursdays!

Thirsty - I love being thirsty for God’s Word and then getting quenched. It feels so awesome.

And finally- Twine - because it has so many uses and I can never remember where I put it the last time I used it. Is it in the shed? The closet? The junk drawer? My girly toolbox? I never know.

If you'd like to get tagged, I'll pick a letter for you too.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

My Sunday

Boy cutting the grass

Kage the dog---------------------------------->

Happy Memorial Day

It’s Memorial Day Weekend and I’m in Connecticut visiting Capt and the kids. So far, we're having a blast and I am remaining calm, no eye twitches or ticks.....yet. It is good to see my dog, Kage again even though Capt changed his food and he (the dog) has a huge gas problem. It’s really hard to breathe in the house now and yesterday the kids had to run out of the house holding their noses.

The seeds I planted for their garden have grown into good size plants, I’m amazed Capt remembered to water them these past 3 weeks. Maybe since I left them on his kitchen counter right next to the sink had something to do with it. On Friday, Boy and I dug a spot in the backyard, in the rain, and my hair got all poofy, I did spend hours getting it just right before I left for my 3 hour drive, but what the heck, we had fun.

Yesterday we planted the cucumbers and string beans, I'm going to post a few pictures later when Capt wakes up and shows me how to to it. These children eat like 1,000 cucumbers a day, all year round, so I thought I’d grow them in the yard so they could just go outside and pick them from the vine instead of Capt having to drive to the store for them. This town is microscopic, I’m not kidding, one traffic light, no supermarket.....just mountains and lakes....I love it here. So lets see if Capt and the kids can remember to water them. I planted them them near his garage so when Capt washes his car, which he does a lot, he can just aim a squirt at the veggie plants.

Ever since I've known Capt, I've been asking him to buy a picnic table for his huge backyard. There isn't a place to sit outside and his backyard is beautiful. I love to sit outside and read in the morning, or have dinner outside. Well, yesterday when we drove like 150 miles to get to the nearest Home Depot for some topsoil for the garden, he bought a picnic table. And when it's put together, I'm gonna sit my fat butt out there and enjoy the rest of this beautiful weekend. Hope you are too!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Pie in the Sky

My realtor called yesterday and told me that he had a family he was showing the house to tonight at 6:30pm. I asked the kids to find something to do after work and come home after 7:30pm so the house could be shown. Well, the realtor called me at work at around 2 and told me that they cancelled. (I cleaned and scrubbed the house all morning, but what the heck). Anyway, I neglected to tell the kids....oops....and I had the whole house to myself all night. And this is what I did:

Made this apple pie.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Tell Me What You Think

I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to be a mother. Throughout my childhood I longed to love someone and to have someone love me back.

When I was 20, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant and alone. Despite what you may think, I was extremely happy and excited about becoming a parent, even if the father didn’t want anything to do with becoming one with me. I didn’t have anyone to guide me through my pregnancy and I made some stupid mistakes, like not knowing about maternity clothes so I bought many pairs of pants in every size as I grew bigger. But I ate healthy, real healthy because I was an organic, raw vegetarian. Mung bean sprouts, tofu, all that crap. And I took real good care of myself for my child.

Even in those early days of pregnancy, I sensed that I was having twins. And at 4 months it was verified, twins it was!

Well, I met a man at my job who was going through a terrible custody battle and we hooked up because he needed a nanny and I needed disfunctional is that? We got married 3 months after the twins were born, a boy and a girl. We had a son when they were 22 months old.

After a few years I left with my 3 kids. He was abusive and although I could have lived like that (since I didn’t have any self worth back then), I didn’t want my daughter to ever married someone like that or have my sons become abusive to their wives. So I left and he never had anything to do with us after that. His children’s mother took them back after a short while. He didn’t have anything to do with them either.

So I raised these three wonderful children alone and loved every minute of it. We kinda grew up together. I made sure they had traditions, security and most of all knew that they were loved unconditionally.

As they grew into teenagers I stayed on top of them, setting boundaries, being involved, making mistakes and learning. They didn’t give me any trouble. Except the youngest, and only for a short period, but I straightened his ass out.

Now they are in their 20's, the twins will be 26 in July and the youngest turned 24 this past Sunday. They still live with me in this big house that I am trying to sell. They are successful, Jen is an accomplished artist and graffic designer Her twin, Dave, is a writer and attending a film conservatory (he's home for the summer, then back to college). Tom is working in the computer field and attending college. majoring in computer science.

I need them to go out on their own, I need to live on my own, I feel like I’m being sucked dry. Don’t get me wrong, they pay minimal rent, they make their own meals, they clean up after themselves (although their standards of cleanliness are not on par with mine), I just want them to be successful, that’s all I ever wanted for them, to be successful in their lives, relationships and careers. I’m just starting to feel, if I dare say, resentful of them. I want a different type of relationship with them now. I want them to come and visit me, not live with me. It’s been very difficult for me lately. I love them, really, really love them, but I did my 26 years of being Mommy and it’s time for me now. I want to be their Mom, the one they go visit and seek advise from - not expect to make things easier for them. (Which I know is my fault)

Quiery: If I wasn’t a single mom and they actually had a father living with us, would I feel the same way? Meaning, would it be easier, emotionally? I feel the strong need for a shift here. I want to live alone! I want my children to be out on their own! But sometimes I also still want to be their Mommy too. What do you think?

Monday, May 22, 2006


Hey, my neck is killing me!!!!

Is this what happens when you get addicted to blog hopping all night then the next night you can’t sleep cause you had a migraine from being way too tired all day and have to take 2 Excedrin Migraine pills, which you forgot that they happen to contain lots of caffeine, and keep you up all night so you blog hopped all night since there was nothing good on TV except some weird drama about breast implants and now your neck hurts like hell because you were bent over your laptop all night reading away until it was time to go to the gym this morning and you couldn't get out of it because it was your turn to drive your neighbor and now you’re at work with your neck hurting and your chiropractor can’t fit you in until 7 pm?

I think you all should stop writing such funny, interesting stories so I can get some sleep already!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

My weekend

My boyfriend, Capt, came out from Connecticut to visit me this weekend. He helped me get my house ready for today’s open house. (My realtor had a public showing today, ugh I don’t want to talk about it yet). Capt is a single dad of two beautiful (inside and out) children. PookieBear is 10. She is EXTREMELY close to her dad, did I say, "EXTREMELY" loud enough? She must have a very high IQ, though I’ve never asked. She has an advanced comprehension level and the stuff that comes out of her mouth sometimes is scary because you expect a grown up to understand what she understands both intellectually and emotionally. Well, I could go on and on about PookieBear, but that’s another entry on my blog. I just plain out and out love her to pieces.

Capt’s son, "Boy" (He is the epitome of a boy, so there is no other alias that even comes close) is 8. Boy is the most loving, good-hearted child I’ve ever known. There isn’t a mean bone in his cute, adorable, very muscular body. Boy suffers from ADHD, he is frustrated by it. Capt is constantly adapting, learning, encouraging, on top of, underneath, hovering about and loving all over Boy. Capt and his former wife, whom I like very much, share custody of their children on an approximate 70/30 percent basis. Capt enjoying the children on the 70% time. I have to give them both credit, they make the co-parenting work on a daily basis, sometimes hourly basis, heck, sometimes minute to minute basis.

Well, I’d like to devote today’s blog to a few of the many reasons why I love Capt so much:

1. He puts his children first, always, no matter what. I admire that. He is the best father I’ve ever seen. Devoted.

2. He treats me like the princess I am. He really does. Because he does the little things as well as the big things to make me happy. For instance, when I drive out to see him (157 miles away) he makes sure that he has lemons in his fridge (I get kidney stones if I don’t have lemon in my diet every day). He gets my favorite yogurt and cashews for me to snack on. And, he buys me bottled water to drink because he knows that I don’t care for tap water. Well, I just don’t drink tap water at all, and his tap water comes from a well across the street, down yonder. He lives in the boondocks. What really gets me is that he knows that even though I’m a morning person, I can’t fully wake up without a couple of sips of Pepsi with lots of ice. Capt makes sure he has a bottle of Pepsi and some fresh ice for me every time I come out to see him. He sends me flowers at my office (isn’t that where it counts ladies?) And he opens the car door for me. I could go on and on. Oh, yeah, he bought me my laptop for our one year anniversary, I don’t know how I survived without it.

3. He is a man of integrity. I’ve never seen him bitter, even though he deserves to be. I’ve never seen him angry. He always does the right thing. The community where he lives respects him, I see it when they are with him. He coaches basketball for the kids in the community.

4. Even though he’s not as available as other boyfriend’s might be (see #1 above and the fact that we live in different states), when we are together I have the easiest time with him. It is so peaceful, so right, and just so easy to be with him and his children. Well, except for the times when we are running from event to event with PookieBear and Boy. After 10 hours of visiting the animal shelter, then miniature golf, then batting cage, then tennis, then lunch, then park, then basketball, then "hey, lets make homemade chocolate chip cookies Theresa"...(I’m not kidding, really, there’s even more that he might fit into a typical day) I start to get a twitch in my eye, then a tick that starts in the corner of my mouth, then to my shoulders. That’s the only time when it gets hard for me, but I’m learning see the warnings of being too overwhelmed and am going to try to take a time out next time before I start getting my tick. But in all fairness, he really packs a lot of events into a day with the kids.

5. He’s also there for his widowed dad whenever he needs him. He is a great support to him. I admire that.

So, that’s my boyfriend. We met on an online dating site. My friends say they’ve never seen me so happy. Oh, did I mention he’s gorgeous too? He left my house a little while ago and took my dog Kage (4 year old boxer) with him for the week ‘cause he loves my dog. I’m going out there to see him next weekend and I can’t wait.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Tag, you're it

I AM big on the inside even though I am a petite 5'2" hot chick.

I SAID this, "ADULTERY - A HUGE PRICE TO PAY FOR A CHEAP THRILL" because it happened to me and I'm a matrimonial paralegal. I see its destruction every day.

I WANT to be married and live happily ever after.

I WISH I had a ring on my finger like all my friends.

I HATE being single and dating, especially long distance dating.

I MISS being part of a couple.

I FEAR jack-in-the boxes, they just POP out unexpectedly while you are happily turning the crank, listening to music. They are just creepy clowns. Why would anyone think they are a good toy for a child? And the anticipation of it springing out just raises my blood pressure and hurts my head. It is a sick, sick toy. Yeah, I know, I'm a wacko.

I HEAR what children are really trying to say. I've always understood children.

I REGRET not being able to make my marriage work.

I AM NOT as naive as I let people to think.

I DANCE only slow, romantic dances. But I'm constantly dancing wildly in my head like those IPod commercials.

I SING in church, cause I don't really have a good voice, but God only hears my heart so it doesn't matter to Him.

I AM NOT ALWAYS honest with my feelings, I try to please people too much, but I'm working on it.

I MADE wonderful lives for my children. I made a good life for myself too.

I CONFUSE simple math. I can't even figure out how much change I'm supposed to get back.

I NEED a calculator at all times.

I SHOULD learn a foreign language; I've always wanted to. But I really should learn how to use this blog correctly.

I START my new SUV with a remote. It's really cool.

I BELIEVE that the bible is the living word of God.

I KNOW everything about divorce and family law. I wish I didn't because it's depressing.

I CAN squirt water out of my mouth by arching my tongue.

I CAN'T blow up balloons because when I had my twins (7 lbs and 5lbs 15oz and I weighed 75 lbs) I wrecked my diaphragm. I also can't do a sit up or yell loudly.

I SEE the beauty in everything, including the worst of things.

I BLOG because it's new to me and it makes me smile to read these fascinating women like CityMama and RockstarMommy. Sorry, I don't know how to link yet....if that's the right phrase.

I READ the best sellers because I want to feel connected to people and experience the same things they do.

I AM AROUSED BY being kissed gently on the neck and hugged from behind while I'm doing the dishes.

IT PISSES ME OFF when I let myself be a doormat.

I FIND that the creases I get on my face from my pillow at night take longer and longer to go away during the day.

I LIKE popcorn. Sometimes I rent a DVD and go to a theater, buy a bucket of popcorn with butter and go home to watch the movie in my bed eating all the popcorn by myself.

I LOVE myself. And trees, especially White Birch trees. I love art too.

Monday, May 15, 2006

I wrote this post as a guest on my friend's blog, The Write Jerry the other day and it got me thinking that I want to start writing my own blog:

The ten things that remind me of my mother by TJ:

1. Bloomingdales: Mom loved to shop at upscale stores. I hate shopping. Mom grew up in a upper middle class Jewish household; she raised me and my 4 siblings in a middle class Baptist household....go figure. She forever tried to instill in her five children the importance of good quality and the finer things in life; she thought that shopping at Bloomingdales was as important as going to church. Our Easter bunnies always came from "Bloomies." In fact, the only chocolate we would ever get was the fancy kind from "Bloomies." Although I never did get her shopping gene, I do love good chocolate every once in awhile.

2. Church pews: Mom was the parent who would take us to church on Sundays. I remember one particular Sunday when we were all sitting in one of the back pews, Mom, me, my sisters and brothers. I got a bad case of the giggles, you know the ones when you just can't stop? Well, she caught them, then down the row my little brothers and sisters caught them. Soon the whole pew was shaking, which made us giggle harder. Although no sounds were coming out of our mouths, the congregation began to turn around to see what the ruckus was about. Taking Mom's lead, we all got up and holding our mouths, and left church. I remember thinking that day that my mom was so human.

3. Turning 25: I remember Mom turning 25 years old. I was 5. I remember sitting at the turquoise kitchen table with Mom, talking to her about her birthday and asking her how old she was. She answered, "25" and I thought, "I'm going to remember this moment always." I don't know why it was such an important event for me to remember at age 5, but last year my twins turned 25 and it hit me, "Wow, my twins are the same age my mom was that day" and it brought me right back to that kitchen table.

4. The Village People: Man, my mom loved them. She would blast their music in the kitchen. It made her happy. In the midst of her chaotic life she found happiness in The Village People. I remember being in awe of her, in awe that she actually liked something so much that it made her so happy.

5. Lasagna: Mom is famous for making lasagna that cuts the hell out of the roof of your mouth. I am a good cook. I, thank God, didn't inherit Mom's inability to cook. Many times as the good cook I've become I've tried to teach Mom to smooth the sauce over the entire top of the upper layer to prevent the razor sharp noodles she creates; she just doesn't get the concept. Having Mom's lasagna is a comical, yet painful experience.

6. Those Kosher jelly rings: I don't understand why, but she just LOVES them. She'll eat the whole box right then and there like it was nothing.....and not gain a pound. That just pisses me off.

7. Mexican food: She loves a good Meson Ole.

8. Old photographs: She collected photographs of other families. You know the ones where no one is smiling. She was fascinated with those families. We had other families hanging on our walls. I always thought it was kinda weird.

9. Pond's Cold Cream: Whenever I smell Pond's I think of her. Mom was never very affectionate. We didn't get kisses goodnight or hugs and such. But I remember at night I would sometimes get close enough to smell the Pond's she religiously put on her face to prevent wrinkles. Oh, I love that smell.

10. Horses: Mom loves horses, go figure. She even loves mucking the stalls. When Mom and Dad retired and moved from Long Island to South Carolina, Dad took up a hobby that lay dormant for 70 years, horseback riding. After two years of Dad hanging out at the barn all day and leaving Mom alone in the condo, Mom got a great idea....she would learn to ride too. This way she could make the same friends that Dad had made and she wouldn't be so miserable in her retirement years. I was very proud of her. This was a woman who grew up in Brooklyn in the 40's, never got dirty in all the years that I knew her, and didn't have the coordination to even master riding a bicycle. Mom learned everything she could about caring for horses. She even bought a couple. She would call me sometimes to tell me the strangest things sometimes..."Dude has an infection in his private area and I've had to keep cleaning it" (eeewwww, too much information Mom!).

Last month Mom got thrown from her horse, Mickey. She sustained all kinds of injuries including brain injuries which required surgery to remove damaged tissue and blood clots. Being the strong and physically fit person she is, Mom is regaining her strength and motor skills with the help of a rehabilitation facility. Mom's short term memory has been affected. This past month has been a nightmare and a blessing. I never realized how much Mom means to me and how important she is in my life. Mom is never, never going to get on another horse, and I've decided, neither am I.I'm flying out to help take care of her and Dad this Friday. I want to be there for Mother's Day. My sister is coming with me. We've been taking turns flying back and forth with our siblings. It's been rough on us all.So you "TheWriteJerry" readers, I'd like to know, what things remind you of your mothers?

I got a lot of good feedback and it felt kinda nice. There are so many great blogs out there that I love to read everyday. So I'm gonna give it a try and blog away with the rest of them.......wish me luck.