Saturday, September 29, 2007

A Train Ride To Love

The houses where I stay during the week are very close to each other. Directly outside my bedroom window lives the perfect family, a mother, daughter, son and father.

Most nights I hear them getting ready for bed because they tend to put their young children (7 and 3) to bed at 10pm on school nights. The interesting thing about that is that the children wake up early too. But it works for them.

One night this week I overheard the father preparing the kids for bedtime. He was louder than usual. It went something like this:






There was lots of laughter going on in their house.

I surmised that the father must have been teaching the children about the solar system.

This went on for about 30 minutes and ended at 10pm.

It's been a long time since I had a good cry, but I cried that night.

And I'm still not sure why it all hit me like that.

Maybe because of the loss of my children's youth. Maybe because there never was a father for my children. Maybe because it was such a perfect example of a whole family interacting with each other in a fun and educational way....something I've never experienced.

Whatever the reason, I am going to treasure that glimpse into my neighbor's lives for a long time.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Fruit Cake

The's delicious.

It is glorious.

I joined a new bible study recently:

Beth Moore Living Beyond Yourself.

At my ripe old age, I have homework, lots of homework.

And as a result thereof, instead of waking up at 4am every morning, I now sleep until 7am.

I feel like I'm becoming human again. And fruitful.

Sunday, September 23, 2007


Last night Capt and I watched an amazingly good movie, "Facing the Giants".

Highly recommended.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Children are Conduits for Disease

Hi friends,

Here's why I haven't been around all week:

On Wednesday I started to feel like I was getting sick.

By Friday morning I had a bad case of hives, so I left work early and went to see the doctor.

He sent me home (160 miles away) to rest, where I laid in bed until Tuesday morning coughing up a lung.

Whatever this sickness is, it has officially kicked me in the butt.

Yes, I am butt kicked.

And my brain is in more of a fog than usual.

Hope youz don't catch it.

Thursday, September 13, 2007


I read this interesting article this morning and it’s been on my mind all day.

Mayor Bloomberg (NYC) has launched a $50 million pilot project (private, not public funds) to pay poor families to do the right thing.

Get your kid a library card ..get paid $50

Take your kid to the dentist for his 6 month check up..... $100

Annual check up.... $200

Your kid passes a standardized test....$300

Statics show that if a family is on public assistance, the odds are more favorable than not that the children they produce will also be on public assistance when they become adults.

So, Mayor Bloomberg is giving these families a positive incentive to break the cycle. I’m all for that.

For two years, when my three children were young, I had to go on public assistance. I was a single mother going to college without any support from their father.

When I graduated, I got a job and promptly said my goodbyes to that ‘welfare’ nightmare.

There were times when I would be sitting in the lobby of the social service office, waiting for my case worker to call my name, and someone next to me would strike up an unsolicited conversation with me and tell me how I could get more assistance if I wanted. "Have another baby, after 4 kids they give you a furniture allowance." "Make sure your kids are dressed in rags when you come here, your kids look too clean." I never ran into a person there that wanted to get off of public assistance.

All I wanted was get a good college education, get off of public assistance, and start living a better, more productive life for me and my children.

And I did.

For many years after, a case worker would call me once a year to take a survey regarding the status of my children and my finances. I would answer honestly to all her questions. And she would commend me for becoming what she considered a ‘success story’ for staying off of public assistance.

I honestly believe that the program will work; hopefully for the parents to better themselves and most likely for the children, who will be receiving the tools they need to succeed in life.

Sometimes all we need is a direction, a goal, an incentive to break out of a cycle.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

(Jacks always bring me back to a happy time in my life.)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

A New Day

Today marks the 6th anniversary since of the downfall of my marriage. The 9/11 attack on our country, in our state, was too much for my former husband to handle emotionally and spiritually, so he made choices that destroyed our marriage.

I’ll never understand just doesn’t make any sense.

To take my mind off of the looming 9/11day of depression that takes over NY each year, last night, on a whim, I took a belly dancing class.

First I asked if I’d have to show my belly. When the belly dancer instructor said "not if you don’t want to" I knew then that taking the class would be easier for me.

My belly showing days are WAY over.

So I shimmed, shook, bumped my hips and ran around in circles with a scarf flowing gently behind me with 12 other women.

We looked so HOT. And we got a good workout. And some good laughs.

When we all packed up to leave, the women all commented on how much they were going to ‘enjoy’ their husbands tonight after all the sensual movements we just learned.

That is NOT what I needed to hear.

Yet still, I’m getting more and more used to this single life of mine and am finding more contentment in this place that God has me in.

And that is all that really matters.

And I understand and pray for the people that have been effected by the 9/11 attack in ways that only they know and comprehend, like me.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Music To Your Ears

Italian Tenor Pavarotti died today. How sad. I loved listening to him.

As we sat at the breakfast table this morning, (me, my sister, my 9 year old niece and just turned 3 year old foster nephew) we quietly watched the news and heard Pavarotti sing at his last performance.

As soon as the song was over, Jay (the newly turned 3 year old holy terror) opened his mouth, stretched his arms wide and sang, in perfect pitch, the last few chords of what we just heard.

We all just turned to him with our mouths opened in awe.

We think that Jay has found his calling in life.

Keep you eyes open for the next famous Tenor!

You'll recognize him by his obsession with Tow Mater from Cars and his firm determination to never be potty trained.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Drive, drive, drive

I’ve been doing quite a bit of driving these past few months.

About 500 miles per week.

It’s starting to bother me because a lot of my time is spent in my truck; a lot of my money is spent on gas.

One thing that disturbs me about all the driving is when the car in front of me decides to spray his windshield while driving 70 miles per hour. My windshield gets sprinkled.

This usually happens once a week while driving early in the morning, facing east.

That is when I realize how stubborn I actually am because I absolutely refuse to turn mine on just because the car ahead of me did and messed up my view.

I imagine the person in the car ahead of me looking in his/her rear view mirror waiting for me to do so and snickering.

I make it a point of not giving in.

"You can’t control me!", is what I scream in my head.

I think I have deep rooted problems.

Well, actually, I know I have deep rooted problems.

* Happy 70th Birthday QFiL!!!!!*