Tuesday, September 30, 2008

This Song is for You, Filled with Gratitude

Tonight my 28 year old daughter is having dinner with my first love.

It is a long story but here is a short version:

I met Todd in 1987. We dated for about 4 years. He taught me so many things about love. Have you ever known someone that made you feel like you were kindred spirits? That was us. Sometimes we would even know what the other was thinking. It was amazing.

But my insecurities and my past held me back from going to that next level with him and I know that I made the right choice, but it was painful. Very painful. Painful for me and for my children who were very attached to him.

I think our biggest problem was that we both were 'follower-type' people. There was no one strong 'leader ' and we both were just lost, not knowing how to get through the smallest of difficulties and not having a healthy frame of reference to guide us though.

Anyway, Todd found a wonderful wife and now has a beautiful, happy family.

I struggled for many years making mistakes and trying to fill the emptiness in my life that was left behind.

And all the time I thanked God that Todd was put in my path to teach me about love, to teach me to delve into the little things in life because they are the most important...to laugh, frequently from the depths of my being.

I honestly don't think that I would be here today, loving my husband, loving my life, and loving God if it wasn't for Todd.

This life is but a blink of the eye and I know that one day, when this earthly life is over, we all will be fellowshipping together again - without all the baggage, mistakes, insecurities and hurts.

updated: Jen called me after the dinner to say basically the same thing I just posted. "Mom, I learned about love from Todd, he taught me things that made me the person I am today. He taught me art, appreciation for little things, he was such a great influence in my life".

Do you have someone in your past that changed your life for the better?

3 comments:

Looney Mom™ said...

How Sweet is that. I love how you can openly talk about that love with such fondness.

My paternal grandma was my "Todd" and I miss her very much.

Theresa said...

Liz, I remember you writing about your paternal grandma and how much she meant to you.

My daughter had such an amazing time last night, she told me that she felt as if she was reuniting with her father. Seeing Todd helped her out so much, she had so many memories of good times and things that he taught her.

PEA said...

I have someone like that in my life right now:-) My husband and I separated over 8 years ago but we still share the house because neither of us could afford to move out on our own. It works well for both of us as we do get along ok and although I cook and clean, we pretty much lead on our own lives. About a year after we separated, I met Steve and he's been my rock ever since. He taught me what love truly is and has made me believe in myself again...we are soul mates. Glad to hear that your daughter was able to have dinner with Todd and that it brought back so many wonderful memories:-) xox