I remember when was in the midst of what I believed was the place that God wanted me to be. My former husband and I were in the "leadership" of a great "cutting-edge" church. We would attend what were called "Western Hemisphere Conferences" and meet other leaders from the same movement....they were so awesome and exciting.
The first conference that we attended happened to be the first one the movement set up and it was decided it would be in Montauk, Long Island, New York, not too far away. During that conference I experienced some of the most amazing touches of the Holy Spirit.
Even though the conference was 10 years ago, one experience vividly stayed with me to this day. I can't go into great detail, but a absolutely beautiful woman, about my age, had been in a horrible marriage, though she never let on. Her husband was not with her at the conference. For years I had had the sickening feeling that her husband was not the man he was trying to portray. I truly believe that he was more interested in young boys than his wife. I had even gone so far as to alert the leadership that something was going on, but I was given the brush off.
At the last night of the conference a word was given to this beautiful woman, "You have been robbed", that was it, simple and true. The word cut her like a knife and she was slain right there and then, spiritually gutted and exposed.
I had a dream about her later on that year. She was in a beautifully decorated house and me and a few of her friends went there for lunch. As we knocked on her front door, she quietly asked that we come in. As we opened the door we saw a beautiful banquet of food laid out before us and there was our friend nursing a newborn in front of the table. I watched as some of the food was still being prepared. What I saw was a powered substance being mixed with water and it becoming these elegant dishes, an "instant banquet". Her home was filled with love.
Our lives were like that, my ex and I, going from conference to conference, growing stronger together and towards the top of the triangle where God was in our relationship. Then it happened, gradually at first. Addictions entered our marriage. Alcohol (bam). Drugs (bam). Pornography (Pow). Gambling (POW). Affair(Slap). Each new addiction a physical and emotional blow to my body. The addictions happened to him, he allowed them, but it effected us both the same.
Our marriage ended. The injuries to my body and spirit healed. I moved on. And I am truly thankful that I went through it all.
Last weekend I was asked to be a part of the Women of Faith Conference in Hartford, Connecticut by being a part of the prayer team. 15,000 women attended. I felt an old familiar feeling and it felt great. A feeling like I'm in the right place again. It was such a blessing to be a part of something so much bigger than myself and my relationship with God again...if that makes any sense. I know that God used me to help many women last weekend as they came to us in the prayer room to seek Him, many of them broken, just for a little prayer.
Like my friend ten years ago, I too had been robbed of many things. God allowed me to be broken, like her, to be rebuilt, like her. But now, almost five years later, I feel like I've gained more than had been robbed, like her. I have abundant peace. I have amazing love. And I have joy. And I am starting to feel like I am in the right place in my life again.