Friday, August 25, 2006

Another Fuzzy Friday

And here's two more reasons why I can’t sleep at night....

Although I had purchased my house years before I met my former husband, it just wasn’t a “man”-type house. The garage was too small for a car and there wasn’t an outside shed for “man” stuff.

Now don’t get me wrong, my former husband didn’t even own a hammer when I married him. In fact, he didn’t even know anything about tools or fixing anything....yet when we got married he moved in all of the sudden we NEEDED a shed. So we purchased an aluminum shed. And he hired some real Italian guys come and pour the cement foundation...I remember being more than a little afraid of them, but they did a great job and I let the ex handle the business transaction. I stayed far away from the cement and the cement guys.

When the cement hardened, we hired a teenager to put the shed together. It came out perfect....a nice aluminum shed near our bedroom window for all the tools and stuff that we didn’t have yet. If I remember correctly - and I do - it was late August.

The first night of the shed erection we opened our bedroom windows to let the cool autumn air into our room. Ping-ping-PINGITY-ping-PING. Not only had he had decided to put the shed within 20 feet of our window, he also had it built directly under a very old oak tree.

Have you heard of the saying, "The acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree"? Well, the acorn don’t fall far from the aluminum shed either!

Since then I've learned that acorns fall bi-yearly...meaning every other year, not twice a year. (Capt and I debate that concept sometimes.) And they start to fall late it is now.

Guess what.....this is the year that they are falling under my window all night long. Ping-ping, PINGITY-ping-PING....all freakin’ night long!

Lesson for you all: Don’t EVER build a shed under an oak tree. (They should at least put that in the assembly directions.)

And yet another reason I can't sleep:

I’ve never really had an alarm clock in my bedroom. I’m the type of person who wakes up whenever I tell myself to...sort of an internal alarm clock (but more because I wake up every hour.) Anyway, if I get nervous about having to wake up extra early for a very special event I just use the alarm on my problem.

Capt bought me a really sophisticated alarm clock last year. So sophisticated that the prerequisite for operation is a degree equivalent to NASA standards.....and I don’t possess such a degree. The damn thing goes off whenever it feels like and only if it knows I am in a deep sleep. Either a loud shrill alarm wakes me up from a sound sleep or loud, very loud rap music...I kinda prefer the rap music, if it would let me have a choice.

In addition, the colors on the LDD change constantly...all the colors of the rainbow....24/7. When the numbers and all the other blinking additions on the face of this clock change to yellow I wake up from the glow, much like a child shining a flashlight in your eyes. And as if that isn't bad enough, this alarm clock wears a clear sticker on the front that proudly states: Selectable LDD Color from the Rainbow - Super Loud Alarm.

Message to Timex: What have I ever done to you to deserve such torture? Whatever it was we’re even now. Leave me alone already!

Disclaimer: In all fairness to my wonderful boyfriend whom I apprechiate with my whole being, I picked out the demon-possessed alarm clock myself while we were shopping at Target one fine day. And now that I think about it I kinda put it in his cart when he wasn't looking or something and he wound out paying for it. Otherwise, he, being the electronic specialist that he is and having a compassionate soul, would not have knowingly subjected me to its venomous wrath.


TheWriteJerry said...

I wonder what's buried under the shed...

theresa said...

Knowing him and his "connections" I'm wondering the same thing right now....hmmmmmm. Maybe I'll drop the price of the house a bit more.

Looney Mom said...

Hee hee hee. Hopefully no potential buyers have been reading along...

Clothes mysteriously disappearing, acorns falling outside the window loudly, possible grave yard...


theresa said...

Hey, maybe Jimmy Hoffa is actually buried under my shed.....that could be a positive selling point...right?

Captain said...

One entry found for biannual.

Main Entry: bi·an·nu·al
Pronunciation: (")bI-'an-y&(-w&)l
Function: adjective
1 : occurring twice a year
usage see BI-
- bi·an·nu·al·ly adverb

Captain said...


Your Query of 'bi-yearly' Resulted in 1 Matches
From The AND Dictionary
Displaying Items 1 through 1

1. Happening, issued or produced, etc twice a year. Also biannual.

theresa said...

Thanks Babe, but in the legal field we use bi-weekly meaning every two weeks. So when I figure out child support for someone who gets paid bi-weekly I times their salary by 26 (weeks in the year)to get their yearly income. Why doesn't bi-yearly mean the same thing? Does anyone know?

C said...

I use my cell phone as my alarm clock too.

mama without instructions said...

good question. i don't quite know the answer but i do know that biennial (and biyearly) most commonly means every two years. it is strange that your def. above lists it as a variation of biannual. here is a somewhat confusing entry from, which supports both theories i believe.

bi‧an‧nu‧al  [bahy-an-yoo-uhl] –adjective
1. occurring twice a year; semiannual.
2. occurring every two years; biennial.
[Origin: 1875–80; bi-1 + annual]

MugwumpMom said...

I thought my windchimes were bad enough. In the store they sounded so esoterically a westcoast windstorm, they are hideous! So, no more windchimes.

I wake up like internal clock does it for me.

Have a great week. I'm off on vacation so will check in to visit next weekend.

Lala's world said...

oh man.... sorry for laughing!! I had a mental picture of Disney's chipmunks Chip and Dale sitting in your Oak tree throwing the acorns on your shed.....I watch too many kids tv shows!!!

sounds like you need to invest in some styrophome for your shed and a new alarm clock!!!

Monica said...

I hate alarm clocks. I repeat. I HATE alarm clocks. Loathe them. Love to watch people smash them with hammers. I don't like being jarred out of sleep and I refuse to be. I do, however, use my cell phone alarms which pretty much whispers in my ear that it's time to get up, if I'm not up already and usually I beat it. I mainly use it because I'm the one who will get back in bed and fall into a deeper sleep. (Told you. I am not a morning person.) Just have to remember to make sure the volume is low or that will jolt me out of sleep and my precious cell phone may get hurled through a window and hit the unsuspecting guy next door who is already out at this insane time and getting into his truck.

Monica said...

Think my response got nixed by the server timing out.

Oh well. The moral of the story was I HATE alarm clocks! :-)

Monica said...

By the way, despite my English degree and 13 years in the editorial field (mainly as a copy editor) I cannot give you a logical reason for this various meanings of bi-weekly, etc. When I say biweekly, I know it means twice a month but it SHOULD mean twice a week. This is one of those times when you say, "Thank God I already know the toughest language in the world to learn" and move on.