2007

Every year I have a theme for the year. They usually are simple themes in theory, but complex in nature.

I write them in my bible sometime in December each year.

In 1997 it was Marriage.

In 1998 it was Embrace. This was a image I had while praying one morning as I watched the sunrise on freezing day in December. I saw me as a child being hugged by Jesus. Then I noticed that I was not hugging him back. I felt like my whole life I had been comforted by Christ in times of trouble and that 1998 was the year I was to learn to embrace Him. For me I was a hard lesson.

In 1999 it was Enlarge. Which was painful, as enlarging and stretching out always is.

In 2000 it was Love. And mostly to love myself.

In 2001 it was Wisdom....which proved to be quite helpful.

In 2002 it was Brokenness...and I wound up in the hospital fighting for my life.

In 2003 it was Boldness and rebuilding in His image.

In 2004 it was Forgiveness. Mostly forgiving myself.

In 2005 it was Friendships.

In 2006 it was Get Ready.

Now I feel that 2007 is the year for Change in my life.

As I meditate on the theme "change" a well-known prayer comes to mind:

God,
grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.

When I was about 8 years old, I accepted Christ into my life. Around the same time, my mom got a thermometer in the mail from her insurance agent. The thermometer had this prayer on the reverse side and I asked if I could keep it.

Along with God's merciful grace, the Serenity Prayer became the guidance I never received from my parents. I became a child who analyzed every minute situation..."Can I accept what is happening with peace in my heart?" "can I change what is happening?" "Do I know if I can change anything in this instance?" "How would I do this differently if I was a parent?"

These were questions I would constantly ask myself throughout my growing years. I feel like I raised myself (and I feel I did a damn good job).

2007 is the year for change. A change in where I am going to live, a change in where I'm going to work and a change in how I plan for my future.

Sounds like a lot in one year, but since my former husband left me in 2001 (that's when 9/11 happened and he relapsed into his addictions), I feel like I've been spinning my wheels as I have been gaining my strength and becoming whole again.

Two years ago I met a wonderful man, Capt, his amazing children and his family. I am happier than I've ever been. Many of you have been asking where our relationship is going. I still can't answer that question. Capt and I discuss marriage. We love the time we spend together. I adore his children...he tolerates mine (They're grown). Yet, I trust that we will both make a wise decision in the future. And that's all I can say about that.

2007 is the year the rubber is going to hit the road in my life.

Keep me in your prayers as I will keep you all in mine.

MAY 2007 BE A BLESSED YEAR FOR YOU ALL!!!!!