How Not to Run a Hair Salon

Approximately 6 weeks ago I went to a new hair colorist, James, to fix the perpetual problem I have been having with my hair. The last time I tried to get it fixed I wound up with jet black hair and I’m naturally golden light brown.

James is a 23 year old straight kid who knows his stuff when it comes to hair coloring. He told me all about himself during the 4 hours it took to get things “right” with my hair. He is engaged to the love of his life, they are expecting a baby in 6 months, they just bought a house and opened the hair coloring business together, but she is having horrible morning sickness and can’t seem to get to work. James was working alone at his shop and was very busy.

While he was telling me his life story I pictured a happy life with a woman of a similar age to his just starting out in life and happily awaiting the arrival of their first baby....don't you? And I was thinking how nice, stable and successful he must be.

Then I went in for a touch up a few days ago.

James sits me down and there is some really heavy late 40ish woman starts yelling at him in a demeaning way from across the salon. This woman has a potty mouth....no actually she would put a truck driver to shame with what was coming out of her mouth.

This woman, I will call Agnes, had long strands of black hair and very short strands of hair poking out all over the place. She was telling everyone, in a loud abrasive voice, that her hair melted when James dyed it the day before and that her hair used to cover her fat butt (her words not mine) and now that @#**&% of a @#**&% better put hair extensions in for her!!!!!

James politely tells her something and then it all becomes crystal clear......Agnes and James own the salon. Agnes, who has 4 bratty children already from all different fathers, whom she lost custody because of her pot smoking, is now pregnant with James' child. (I learned all this info as well while sitting there with hair dye in my hair scared out of my mind, by the way, that James will melt my hair off too).

Just then a woman comes into the salon, a woman who used to date Agnes' brother. Agnes tells her that her brother is now dating a 60 year old woman, "like 10 years his senior". And the three of them start laughing their butts off! Like this older woman who actually is 58, not 60, is wacked out of her mind for dating a younger man....HELLO!!!! what are YOU doing Agnes????? There's over 20 years difference between you and James!!!!!

My drama session gets worse.....Agnes and James have to tell this ex-girlfriend what Agnes' brother told them about her "down there parts". And she starts guessing obscene things.

That's when I chimed in, "Ummm, excuse me, I can't take all this drama anymore, could you wait until I leave in a few minutes to finish this conversation?" I'm not kidding, I really said that. And when my hair was done - and looking mighty fine - I paid and as I left they asked me if this was the most fun salon ever? I said, "I can't wait to blog about this place". Then they all started getting excited and said that they are going to get more publicity for the salon. I just smiled and left. They should only know.

And the most disturbing thing of all is that I am going to go back in 6 weeks because James is THE MAN when it comes to my hair, even if he most likely won't be "the man" in any other area of his life.....just sayin'.