Friday, July 21, 2006

I have to retire, NOW

I want to retire....NOW, like in RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND!!!!

I'm in South Carolina visiting my parents who are retired. I flew in last night. This morning Mom and I took a 3 mile walk down Myrtle Beach. When we came back Dad had a BIG ants are coming into the screened in porch in the back. Oh My Goodness! "Rose, QUICK, where's the RAID?"

Mom quickly calls the maintenance department of the complex and Dad grabs the keys and announces that he's going to "The Pig" (which I'm not sure but I think might be short for a supermarket). Just as his car pulls away the maintenance man shows up with the pest spray canister and he locates the hill (which with his accent I thought he said heel) and sprays away. Then he explains that since the grass is getting overly watered, the ants are looking for higher, dryer land, hence the minor ant problem.

Next Dad comes back with Raid and starts to spray, even though we tell him the mainteance guy already did the job. The Raid long spray tube thing that attaches is broken! Oh My Goodness, "Rose, its broken, we have to go get a new one!!" Out they go as if they were evacuating for a hurricane or something.

I stay behind and take in a quick nap (hey, all this excitement is killing me.)

They came back, sprayed the dead ants with the new RAID over and over again and now things are all back to normal....well, as normal as they can be around these two.

So, I've decided that I want to retire right now because OMG, if this could be my only problem to deal with, I'm all over that.

And why do old people keep their homes ice cold? I've got a sweater on and am sitting on the couch with a blanket. And Dad asks me if I'd for him to turn the AC up before they leave. (???)

We're going out to dinner tonight..4:30pm sharp, I can't wait.


Paulette said...

OmG this was hallarious!!! You are tooo funny. I just happened to link in from a comment you wrote and I so needed a good laugh. Can you imagine how well they both must sleep at night keeping up with each other?? How funny.
Myrtle Beach sounds so awesome, I am jealous. My friends just got back after spending a week there in a condo, (sigh)
Well enjoy supper at 4 sharp!!

MugwumpMom said...

ROFL.!!! Especially at the "4:30 sharp"!! What is is about older people and their "must stick to it" timetables?? My mom does laundry at 9:30 am Tuesdays, gets goceries at 8:00 am, get my drift. Oh, and up here, they keeps their homes unbearably hot..I almost fall asleep everytime I visit.
Too funny, and it'll be us someday!

Dawn said...

This reminds me of an old Seinfeld episode where he visits his parents and they go eat at 4:30 with all the other "old people." Hilarious story!

Lala's world said...

that was too funny! I could totally picture it! thanks for the laugh

Michelle said...


I know what that is like! Good to read your blog! Thank you!

Yellow Mama said...

It is 100 plus or minus here in Texas and so if you dress for 100 plus or minus and sit in an office all day, you turn into an iceberg.

I'm not sure I'm quite ready for retirement but a little r&r would be nice!

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Monica said...

My folks crossed over in to Retirement Land a few years ago now but they aren't even in their 60s yet so maybe it's still early for them to be regimenting themselves. But they are happy campers although my mother's body was taken over by body snatchers so I don't know where she went. But this replacement mother has been phenomenal! Even my laid-back brother thinks so. Retirement agrees with ALL of us!

Bunnymama said...

This was hilarious. Luckily I was only there for the dead ants which kept showing up. We decided that the live ones were bringing the dead ones in. The day after you left we had breakfast at 6:30..yes Dad heard movement in the bedroom (I was just trying to warm could hang meat in there) so he took that as sign to start scrambling the eggs. lunch was at 10:30. Luckily my plane left at 3pm or we would've had to schedule and additional meal.