The New Generation of Fashion Police

I woke up this morning, made some cornbread and left for the gym.

When I got back I ate, took my shower and got dressed.

I put on a nice brown skirt, brown sweater, stockings and brown boots. I was feeling all together.

When I walked out of the bedroom all ready for work my 3 year old nephew, who just learned how to talk in complete sentences, stopped me in my tracks.

"You wearin’ THAT Aunt Terri?" he asked me as he squinted his eyes at me and held his hand up towards my face.

"Yes, is this outfit a problem?" "Does it not work?" "Should I change?" I asked him.

"Yes, no like it Aunt Terri", he said as if he was the fashion police, "Change!"

I’m pretty sure I’ve just experienced one of the most insulting moments, yet funny moments of my life from a 3 year old boy.

An Innocent Observation

Pookie (age 12): See all those men walking their dogs in the neighborhood?

Me: Yes.

Pookie: Have you ever noticed that in the warm weather it’s the women walking the dogs? And now that it is getting chilly all the men are doing the dog walking.

Me: Ummmm, Hmmm, good observation Pookie.

Oh My Land Have I Been Busy

But I have great news. And am in need of advice.

So where do I start?

How about with the good news?

Yesterday we (me, my sister and niece) drove my 26 year old nephew to Boston where he was scheduled for a battery of tests and a meeting with his neurosurgeon. (John has an extremely rare disease called Moyamoya). He is supposed to see his neurosurgeon every year but as he is getting older and his parents get busier and life just happens, (his dad just had a double lung transplant and is doing fine) everyone has put it on the back burner because John has been stable.

So five years have passed since his last Boston appointment.

And his mom, my sister, doesn’t drive off of Long Island.

But I do.

So off we went.

And, by the way, yesterday Boston was a very busy little town. It seemed like everyone there was wearing Red Sox apparel. Children’s Hospital of Boston is very close to Fenway Park. Very close. Traffic was at a stand still.

Mental Note: I should really start paying more attention to sports, even if it is only to forecast the traffic situation.

Note to Readers: I don’t like to watch sports, except basketball, that’s fun to watch.

John’s tests were supposed to start at 11am and the last appointment was scheduled for 4:40pm.

The hospital had mercy on us since we had a long drive ahead and let us see the doctor at 2pm. We got to leave Boston at 3pm instead of 6-ish.

Pure Grace!

The results are that John is no longer on the critically ill list. Praise God! There is no more damage to his brain. He is expected to live a long life.

It is a miracle considering the damage there is to his brain from numerous strokes.

As for your advice.....my niece has been telling untrue stories.

All the time.

It’s getting to the point of concern.

She is 9, she is adopted, she has ADD and she is beginning to realize that she isn’t at the same educational level as other children her age.

Have any of you had a child that continuously lies?

If so, what did you do about it?

My heart just breaks for her.

Empty Nest

Last night we took the ferry ride together, my youngest son and I, all the way to CT.

It's been a long time since any of my children spent a whole weekend with me, usually they are too busy to come out and visit so we just get together during the week. (I work on Long Island, NY and live way up north in CT.)

At first it was shocking to hear the words, "Mom", interposed in consecutive sentences as we sat across the booth from each other. It was a shock that reminded me of days long ago when I would be lost in thought as I was doing my chores and I would be interrupted by being summoned by one of my children, "Mom, Mom", I would hear. And then I would cast my eyes downward to answer back only to be shocked that in front of me stood a grown teenager, taller than me. "When did he/she grown that tall?", I would think to myself.

That kind of shock is what I am talking about.

I've been insulating myself out here in the woods. It's good though; my children are grown and since we've all gone our separate ways (6 months ago) I see good changes in their maturity.

I've just forgotten how much I miss being their mother....and hearing myself be called, "Mom" in person.

Green Thumb

I did something this morning that I rarely do.....I went to a deli on my way to work to get myself some breakfast.

As I was standing in line, I recognized the ‘gentleman’ standing in front of me.

Which is not a good thing.

At all.

A few years ago my children set me up on a date with him, Jack (not his real name, not even close).

Our first date was nice and short. I remember we walked a lot.

Our second date we met at a restaurant and had a good time chatting about our children. His daughter and my twins are good friends.

When he got up to leave with me I commented to him on how he must have had a hard day because he seemed a little stiff.

He laughed and said, "Didn’t I tell you that I have a wooden leg?"

"Oh, ummmm, no, I mean....I didn’t realize....ummmm", was all I could think of saying.

Not that it was a problem, it was just a surprise since as I explained above, we did a lot of walking that first date. And I am clueless....most of the time.

The next day my son asked about my date and I told him that Jack was a nice guy and that I’d go out with him again.

Then he told me a story about Jack.

It seems that Jack likes to grow a type of plant in his home and he raised his daughter in an environment were smoking said plant was encouraged and shared.

So when he called me to set up another date I told him that I felt it was best that we didn’t continue further.

And he got angry.

And later on he found out the reason why I didn’t want to continue dating him.

And he threatened my son with something like, "If I ever see you again we’re gonna talk". And I doubt if he meant that in a nice talk way.

I was standing behind him a little while ago and he turned to look at me and recognized me. I just smiled and turned my head and thanked God that I have a wonderful son and a wonderful man in my life.

Unfortunately, I have a few of those 'bad date' stories.

There's one with a former Dallas Cowboy who got food poisoning on our first date and had to sleep over.

There's one where my date got very angry at me for not having pictures of my children with me. Whew, got out of there fast!

There's one where my date gave me a stern talking to for not finishing my dinner.

In my experience, dating in your 40's is not fun.

Until you meet the right man.

Do any of you have strange dating stories to share?

An Afternoon With The Elite

This week I had one of the wealthiest men in the world in my office.

Wealthy as in, Oprah and Bill Gates-ish wealthy. Close to that type of wealthy.

It wasn't that I was so much impressed with his wealth, I didn't treat him any differently than any other client going through a divorce, it was what he ordered for lunch.

After sitting in my office hammering out the final details of his settlement (5 hours) I heard his stomach start to growl.

I asked if he's like me to send someone out to get him lunch.

His eyes lit up.

So I rattled off all the possibilities I could think of that he could have from the area. Sushi, steak, Italian, Greek, Chinese.....

When the secretary came into my office to take his order he asked for a burger and fries from Wendy's, hold the pickle.

When she brought it to him, he devoured it with a passion and gusto, right there at the other end of my desk.

And I just sat back and smiled.

Oh, to be that wealthy and appreciate the little things in life.

(He even shared a french fry with me.)