Thursday, February 26, 2009

To the Porn Shop

Did I ever tell you about the time I went to the local porn shop?

I had just met Capt for the first time after being matched up with him on Eharmony months earlier.

We had gone on a wonderful first date. He took me to a seaport to see how ships were made. Some might think, "What a strange place for a first date.", but it was perfect, just perfect. He had planned the whole day right down to umbrellas in case it rained and in case I didn't feel comfortable sharing one with him. He even had an assortment of waters in his car in case I got parched and was fussy about water. (Yes, he was correct.) He even pre-paid for everything before I even got there, which took the awkwardness away.

We even sat on the bench in front of the lighthouse and looked out over the water and talked and talked. I thought he was going to kiss me then, but he waited until we said goodbye.

It was the most wonderful date ever. And as I walked onto the ferry to go home I knew there were many things about Capt that I loved and I hoped we could continue our long distance relationship now that we had met in person.

Capt is all about electronics, computers and all things geek-related. He knows how to find anything on the internet and does it in no time at all.

A few days after our first date I called him from my office phone. He took that number off of his caller ID and reverse looked-up it to get my work address.

The next day I was getting buzzed by my receptionist, Larisa. When I picked up the intercom she was hysterically laughing and trying to tell me between breaths that the local porn shop was on the phone and they had a package for me.

This porn shop was not an ordinary porn shop, it was known to be the most 'porniest' of the porn shops around. I knew this only because the local churches were always praying for it and its owners.

Needless to day, Capt's reverse lookup investigaton did not uncover my correct work address and a lovely package of chocolate covered strawberries got delivered to the porn shop instead of the law office.

I pleaded with Larisa to pick them up for me, but being the good, sweet, innocent person that she is she declined stating that she was just too embarrased. I even offered her cold, hard cash, to no avail.

I had no choice but to go in there myself and pick up the strawberries. They had to be refrigerated so I had to get them right away.

It took me awhile to get out of my car once I got into the porn parking lot. I know that this is really stupid but the thing that I kept thinking was, "What if I ran into someone that I know from church in there?". And not because of what they might think of me, because I would know that they were there and then we would have a weird secret connection or something like that. That would be too creepy.

After about 30 minutes I took a deep breath, went inside, lowered my head and tried to keep my eyes straight ahead as I approached the check out counter. "You must be Theresa.", said the young woman. "Am I that obvious?", I asked.

It was the biggest laugh in my office for years, mostly because I am such a goody-two shoes. And it was a turning point in Capt and my lives because we just knew then that our relationship together was going to be filled with these types of funny memories.

16 comments:

Theresa said...

Oh, Theresa, that is just so rich!!! I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for the conversation you two had AFTER you picked up your gift!

Staci said...

that is a great story!! lol

RR Mama said...

That is so funny. I don't know if I would have gone to get the strawberries or tried to bribe someone else.

Dawn said...

That is the greatest story ever - on many levels. Oh, my word, I can't believe it took you so long to tell it!

I wondered how you and Capt met - what a great romantic story!

And I love it that the local churches had all been praying about the porn shop. And I love it that Capt's techie finesse failed him! Too too funny!!

restul said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Auntie, aka cagny said...

OMG Yewie,
What a crazy story.
Your grandchildren will enjoy hearing it in the future.
Thanks for sharing.

Merrily Down the Stream said...

That is priceless!

Merrily Down the Stream said...

That is priceless!

Lala's world said...

totally priceless!

calista said...

This needs to be in a book. RIGHT NOW!! I have tears rolling down my face. Found you at BigMama's BTW

Jaclyn said...

Hi! I found your blog through a post on Kristin Billerbeck's blog "Girly Girl". I am sitting here laughing my head off right now...too funny! So were the strawberries worth it?

The Farmer Files said...

Wooo-weee....that was a steamy kind of a story...LOL!

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Anonymous said...

is porn the only winner during credit crunch?


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