To the Porn Shop

Did I ever tell you about the time I went to the local porn shop?

I had just met Capt for the first time after being matched up with him on Eharmony months earlier.

We had gone on a wonderful first date. He took me to a seaport to see how ships were made. Some might think, "What a strange place for a first date.", but it was perfect, just perfect. He had planned the whole day right down to umbrellas in case it rained and in case I didn't feel comfortable sharing one with him. He even had an assortment of waters in his car in case I got parched and was fussy about water. (Yes, he was correct.) He even pre-paid for everything before I even got there, which took the awkwardness away.

We even sat on the bench in front of the lighthouse and looked out over the water and talked and talked. I thought he was going to kiss me then, but he waited until we said goodbye.

It was the most wonderful date ever. And as I walked onto the ferry to go home I knew there were many things about Capt that I loved and I hoped we could continue our long distance relationship now that we had met in person.

Capt is all about electronics, computers and all things geek-related. He knows how to find anything on the internet and does it in no time at all.

A few days after our first date I called him from my office phone. He took that number off of his caller ID and reverse looked-up it to get my work address.

The next day I was getting buzzed by my receptionist, Larisa. When I picked up the intercom she was hysterically laughing and trying to tell me between breaths that the local porn shop was on the phone and they had a package for me.

This porn shop was not an ordinary porn shop, it was known to be the most 'porniest' of the porn shops around. I knew this only because the local churches were always praying for it and its owners.

Needless to day, Capt's reverse lookup investigaton did not uncover my correct work address and a lovely package of chocolate covered strawberries got delivered to the porn shop instead of the law office.

I pleaded with Larisa to pick them up for me, but being the good, sweet, innocent person that she is she declined stating that she was just too embarrased. I even offered her cold, hard cash, to no avail.

I had no choice but to go in there myself and pick up the strawberries. They had to be refrigerated so I had to get them right away.

It took me awhile to get out of my car once I got into the porn parking lot. I know that this is really stupid but the thing that I kept thinking was, "What if I ran into someone that I know from church in there?". And not because of what they might think of me, because I would know that they were there and then we would have a weird secret connection or something like that. That would be too creepy.

After about 30 minutes I took a deep breath, went inside, lowered my head and tried to keep my eyes straight ahead as I approached the check out counter. "You must be Theresa.", said the young woman. "Am I that obvious?", I asked.

It was the biggest laugh in my office for years, mostly because I am such a goody-two shoes. And it was a turning point in Capt and my lives because we just knew then that our relationship together was going to be filled with these types of funny memories.