A SHORT TRIBUTE TO ANN M. ANDERSON

July 31, 1967
May 25, 2007

One of my favorite divorce clients was murdered by her husband this past Friday morning. This was especially upsetting because I had just spoken to her Thursday evening and she was concerned about her children because she was working so much (due to their father’s lack of support and defiance) and she couldn’t spend enough time with them. Their father didn’t want to have anything to do with them after she filed for divorce last year. She told me, "I feel like my children have lost both parents because I have to work 16 to 17 hours a day, 7 days a week".

Ann was 18 when she met her husband, 27 years her senior. She fell in love and had 4 wonderful children with him.

Ann was the type of woman who spend quality time with her children, taking them on cross-country adventures and making sure they pursued their talents. She loved her children with everything she had. She spoke proudly of each of them.

The coward that shot her in the face 5 times could not take away her beauty. As she lied there in the casket, the beauty that always radiated within her still shown on her face.

Ann would have been proud to she her children last night at the wake. They were strong, they were confident and they greeted the thousands of visitors with hugs and gratiousness.

A job well done Ann.

A few pictures:

I've been a bit pre-occupied. I hope to post about it tomorrow.

In the meantime, here's some photos of my new home:
My bedroom:

Pookie chillin' out in the family room.
A view of the stairs from the livingroom:
The back yard decks:

My daughter Jen feeding the hummingbirds:

My son Dave left for China yesterday. I lent him my camera, so it might be hard to post more photos for awhile.

Hugs and Kisses

My first full week of staying at my sister’s house while I work on Long Island is over. Today we are all going to Hummingbird Acres for the 3 day weekend. So are a few other people. It’s going to be a full house of fun. And lots of barbequing. And lots of food.

My sister’s kids are killing me with hugs and kisses. Oh the cuteness! "Wait, Aunt Ewie, let me give you a hug"....I hear that a lot.

And I hear"Haviar" a lot. A LOT. Which, I found out, translates from babytalk into, "I will help you". Apparently not only do 2 year olds like to do everything themselves, they like to help you do everything too.

Then there’s the potty training. And the peeing. And there’s the’ pee-pee’ dance that I have to do when the 2 year old pees in the potty.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been around 2 year olds. It’s tiring. I do not know how my sister does it all day long, without a break, without another parent. But it’s worth it because nothing is better than all the hugs and kisses at the end of the day.

I'm kinda glad that my kids are all grown already and I don't have to chase after toddlers anymore, but grandbabies would be nice.

DO YOU HEAR THAT KIDS? GRANDBABIES WOULD BE NICE!!!!!

YA KNOW, WE'RE ALL NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER HERE!!!!!

(they are gonna kill me for that)

Hope you all enjoy the Memorial Day weekend!

It always comes back to bite you in the butt

When my daughter was younger, about 8, she began listening and understanding music. She might argue with you that the only music she even knew existed before she turned 16 was from what she heard in my car from a local radio station which only played oldies...but she could have listened to any music she wanted to, within reason...I never stopped her. Nor did I offer her any other types of music to listen to. I didn’t come from a musical family and music is not a big part of my life. It is interesting, however, that whenever I drive her car and turn on her stereo she has been listening to Bach, my favorite composer.

One of the songs that my daughter, Jen, loved was Cat Steven’s "Cat’s in a Cradle". She loved the song and the lyrics and would talk to me about how sad that song was. In a nutshell: It’s about a father who doesn’t have time to spend with his son and his son grows up to not have time to spend with him.

I’ve spoken about this before here and I still regret that day.

One thing that I didn’t share with you, because it was so painful, was that at first when she was waiting for me to finish talking with the neighbor she was humming very loudly so that I could hear the song, "Cat’s in a Cradle". It was her subtle way of letting me know that this was important to her and that this moment might never happen again. Even though I told my neighbor that I had to leave so I could play a game of basketball with my daughter, I continued to stand there with her while we talked away, feeling torn in two, wanting to have a friend and wanting to play with my daughter at the same time.

I’m sharing all this with you because the song came back to mind today when Jen called me at lunchtime today to cancel our dinner date tonight. "Something came up, I have a lot of work to do at home, we’ll have to do this next week", is what she said. "Ouch", I thought. Then the music started playing in my head.

Normally, I wouldn’t mind. But for some reason I can’t stop thinking that since tonight is the season finale of LOST, she is choosing, like I did, something that she’d rather do than entertain me.

Which is fine.

Really.

*sniff*

Me Me Want

Last night's conversation with my 2 year old nephew:

"Tewie, Me Me hair" - translation: Aunt Theresa, I want your hair.

"Jay, you want my hair?"

"Yessth, Me Me hair, off" translation: Yes, I want you to take off your hair.

"You want me to take off my hair?"

"Yessth, off hair Tewie, Me Me head" translation: Yes, take all your hair off and put it on my head.

"Umm, Jay, my hair doesn't come off".

"Waaaaahhhhhh" As he tugs on my hair.


*sorry about not posting the pics of my house yet, I plan to get it done this weekend.

TGIF

It's Friday - whoopie!

Usually I am an organized person. That is one of my strongest qualities. All my other qualities are useless, and, unfortunately strong, and, most likely, the reason I am still single at my age. That, and the fact that I use too many commas.

So, in order to do this 'commute to work from state to state' thing, I have to stay in NY by switching between my sister's house and my children's apartment during the week. And I have to be very organized.

Monday mornings I leave my house in CT before the crack of dawn and drive to LI, NY. I have to make sure that I have packed enough work outfits and accessories to make myself presentable at work. And all my moisturizers.... oh my land.... I can't live without moisturizing every inch of my body twice a day; they take up a whole suitcase themselves.

Everything is working out except I am supposed to bring my own pillow and blanket, I forgot them this week.

The only thing I hadn't factored in was the cost of eating out as much as I have to. Or the fact that I have an uncontrollable need to spoil my niece and nephew everyday. Or the fact that I have no time to workout at Curves anymore. Or the fact that it is difficult to stay on the South Beach Diet when I don't have my own kitchen and all the basic staples that one needs to prepare the foods. So I expect to become a blimp by next month.

Other than all of the above, it's working out well.

Oh, and I don't know how my sister can stand all the cuteness that wakes up in the morning in their little feetie pajamas and climb down the stairs rubbing their little eyes as they run and dive in for their morning hugs and kisses! I just melt every morning.

Since today is Friday, straight after work I'm taking a ferry home, running up my driveway, unlocking my door, running up the stairs and jumping into my bed. I plan to sleep until 9am, which would be a small miracle since I always wake up at 4am.

I will post pictures of the house over the weekend since I have my laptop there.

And I have a question for y'all - Did any of you have housewarming parties when you move into your homes? My QFIL (Capt's Dad) is lovingly twisting my arm to have one. It sounds like fun but I don't remember ever going to one so I'm not sure what to expect or do.

Mother's Day Recap

You guys are great, thanks for all the encouragement and support during this wacked out time in my life. Selling and buying a house in different states at the same time is insane. INSANE!!!! I don't recommend it while sober.

Now that I got that off my chest....to answer your question: I think that in my heart I'll always be Yew Nork Babe, so I'll keep that title for awhile longer, although Connecticut Cutie sounds like a good change.

I'm at work today on Long Island. It was very difficult leaving my new house and driving out here last night. I'll be here during the work weeks....so far it seems like a good option.

My wonderful sister Lyn is allowing me to stay with her. This morning I heard the baby crying so I looked at the kitchen clock and saw that it was 6:15am. I decided that I would go upstairs and get the baby so that my sister could sleep. I got him up and had him help me make cornbread when my niece and Lyn walked down to see what was going on. Apparently the baby makes noises in the morning but stays asleep for another hour or so. And, more importantly, the clock in the kitchen is an hour and change off....so it was 5:00am! Oooooppps! My bad.

My sister Mindi came by on Saturday for the day. It only took her 2 hours from Staten Island. She loved the place. When she got out of her car she took a deep breath and said, "It feels like vacation here". That's about right.

Two of my children came up for Mother's Day....they didn't want to leave. But they did. It was great to see them. Capt cooked a great meal for us all. I'm talkin GREAT MEAL. New York Strip steaks marinated and rubbed on the barbeque, baked potatoes, rolls and pastries from the best bakery in Connecticut.....he really made the day special for me and my kids.

The hummingbirds were stopping by to drink from the new feeder my kids got me for Mother's Day. Jen and Tom were fasinated by them. We had a great time.

Enough rambling, I've got to lots to do at work (I did just take off a week to do this move).

Photos to be posted soon.

Hummingbird Acres

I'm in the new house. Unpacking. Setting up rooms. Trying to find my dishes....and my clothes. But ( just in case you have this image in your mind) I'm NOT walking around naked because I was smart enough to pack a suitcase with a few changes of clothes.

Capt hooked me up to wireless yesterday. He's been an amazing help.

Last night was my first night here. It was so quiet. Not like Long Island. At 5am the birds started singing, the crickets started chirping and the woodpeckers started pecking. And it got noisy. Oh the birds and their noises! It was loud and lovely. I could get used to waking up like that every morning.

The house is beautiful and manageable. Smaller than my house on Long Island was, yet big enough to have friends and family over. It's on 2 acres and there is a brook in the backyard, and lots of trees.

I already have the kitchen and bedroom set up. Oh, oh, oh, and in my bedroom there's a walk in closet that I could do back flips in.

Yes I could!!!!!

Today I went to do some errands and when I got close to my house I saw a turkey walk across my street. Then I went into my house and looked out the kitchen window and saw a hummingbird at the feeder. I love hummingbirds.

My cousin named his house "Silicon Woods". One of my friends named their place "Bumble Bee Manor". I think I'm going to call this place "Hummingbird Acres".

I like the way it sounds.

Well, I'm going to bed....every muscle hurts from this past week of packing, cleaning, moving, cleaning and unpacking....and more cleaning...and back flips.

The Move

Just a quick note to let you all know that I'm okay.

The closing on the LI house went well. Tomorrow is the closing on the CT house.

Right now I am homeless. And I feel very 'ungrounded' because of it.

I stayed at my sister's house last night and tonight I'm driving to CT and staying at Capt's house. After tomorrow, I will be a Connecticut resident and living in my new house!

It's been a rough road, especially with the movers I chose. Do not ever use A-one Moving and Storage they will rip you off, like they did to me. I will explain later on...like after they bring my stuff to CT.

I took off from work starting tomorrow so I can unpack and set up the house. Capt is taking off from work on Thursday and my kids will be coming over to see the new place this weekend and they will help too.

This has been stressful and I can't wait until it is all over.

Proof that I still have a sense of humor in the midst of moving

If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warming weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! IT IS A SCAM!! They only want to see you naked!!!!

I wish someone would have warned me before yesterday.

I feel so stupid.

Nutshell Recap

It's 2am and I'm wide awake.

It looks like Yew Nork Babe is finally moving. Relax, have a seat and let me explain, in a nutshell, what has been happening.

There were some mistakes made, legal mistakes, when it came to the sale of my house. These legal mistakes were made by the legal firm that I work for, the place I've worked for the past 11 years.

I had to hire another lawyer to fix these problems. It took $10,750 to fix the problems, money that I just don't have. Yet, if I didn't have the problems fixed, the sellers of the house I am purchasing would be suing me, or at the least, keeping the downpayment. And that's not a good thing either.

The closing on my house on Long Island is scheduled for Friday. This Friday.

The packing involved......you can imagine. (If that sentence sounds like it is spoken by an elderly Jewish mother, it just was.) I've lived in this huge house since 1992.

There isn't much more to do, I have given many things to my children, they are all out of the house and there are only about 20 boxes of their stuff that I have to bring with me on my move to CT....most of which is my daughter's artwork.

The movers are coming tomorrow morning, they will be storing all of my things in a warehouse in New Jersey for a week, then delivering it all to CT on Thursday, May 10th....I only hope.

As for my job, I was planning on staying with my sister on Long Island during the week and spending weekends at the new house until my boss retired. Now I don't feel that is the right thing to do...the way my real estate matter was handled has convinced me that it's time to leave there, now.

I have an interview with a head hunter from CT and will be planning to work somewhere in CT.

There are many, many changes going on in my life right now, more than I had wanted because I am the type of person that likes routine and consistancy.

Yet, I'm smart enough to realize that if I keep living here on Long Island for much longer, I will not survive financially. Most homeowners here have two income families. Long Island is one of the most expensive places to live. Not only that, but the stress here is sucking the life out of me.

So I'm trusting that the closing on my house here goes through on Friday since my house will be empty tomorrow and living in an empty house will freak me out. And with the market the way it is, I'd be living here for another year and losing more money.

And I'm trusting that the purchase of the house in CT will go as scheduled too, since I'll be homeless for a week, although living with my sister.

*YAWN*

Thanks for stopping by to check in on me, I have to go back to sleeping right now to finish this awesome dream I was having about zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz