On Top of Spaghetti....

For the past month or so I've been craving spaghetti and meatballs. Perhaps it was because I was on the Atkin's Diet for 2 weeks, perhaps it was my longing for Sunday pasta dinners past. Whatever the reason, I just couldn't shake it.

The weekend before last, Capt came to visit and we made a big pot of sauce with meatballs.

Just before dinner I took out one meatball and tasted it. As I sat alone in the den eating it my daughter came in and saw me so she grabbed one too. As I was eating it I crunched down on 2 hard bits of something white. She found 3 pieces.

Capt came in. I asked him if he would taste one too, but I mentioned to him to eat it carefully and let us know what he thought. He found 3 pieces of hard stuff too.

Jen, being the type of person she is, asked for the receipt and called Stop and Shop to complain. They told her to bring the meat back and they would give her the money back. She told them that dinner was ruined and that she'd like to pick up two cooked chickens as well. Then she left with a few hot meatballs in tupperware. Jen's tough.

When she came back, she had my money back and two free chickens. Capt took us all out to a Chinese food dinner instead of eating the chickens. So we had chicken for lunches last week.

When we came home, I packed up the rest of the sauce and meatballs in tupperware and stored them in my refrigerator. They are still there, untouched.

This past Friday, I couldn't stand the cravings anymore, I woke up at 5am and put on a new pot of sauce and made meatballs. I invited a lot of friends and family over for dinner and we all had a great soft, spaghetti dinner, no crunchies. And it was good. And we were all satisfied. And it's all gone.

For a Jew, I've been told I make a mean sauce.

But here's my dilemma: There was no way I could have just thrown the first sauce out without it going bad first.....I'm sick like that. Now that it has been sitting in the refrigerator long enough to throw out, how do I dispose of the old sauce? I hate to throw it away in the tupperware, but how do you dump all that liquid in trash, what if it leaks? I've dumped sauce in the sink in the past, but that is too messy. A garbage disposal would work well, but I don't have one. Does anyone have a plan here?

I realize I'm a sicko for keeping the first sauce so long knowing it wasn't edible, but admission is the first step. I just could not bring myself to throw it out until now.

Speechless

I just had the best weekend ever.

I can't even put it into words....that's how great it was.

Another Fuzzy Friday

And here's two more reasons why I can’t sleep at night....

Although I had purchased my house years before I met my former husband, it just wasn’t a “man”-type house. The garage was too small for a car and there wasn’t an outside shed for “man” stuff.

Now don’t get me wrong, my former husband didn’t even own a hammer when I married him. In fact, he didn’t even know anything about tools or fixing anything....yet when we got married he moved in all of the sudden we NEEDED a shed. So we purchased an aluminum shed. And he hired some real Italian guys come and pour the cement foundation...I remember being more than a little afraid of them, but they did a great job and I let the ex handle the business transaction. I stayed far away from the cement and the cement guys.

When the cement hardened, we hired a teenager to put the shed together. It came out perfect....a nice aluminum shed near our bedroom window for all the tools and stuff that we didn’t have yet. If I remember correctly - and I do - it was late August.

The first night of the shed erection we opened our bedroom windows to let the cool autumn air into our room. Ping-ping-PINGITY-ping-PING. Not only had he had decided to put the shed within 20 feet of our window, he also had it built directly under a very old oak tree.

Have you heard of the saying, "The acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree"? Well, the acorn don’t fall far from the aluminum shed either!

Since then I've learned that acorns fall bi-yearly...meaning every other year, not twice a year. (Capt and I debate that concept sometimes.) And they start to fall late August....like it is now.

Guess what.....this is the year that they are falling under my window all night long. Ping-ping, PINGITY-ping-PING....all freakin’ night long!

Lesson for you all: Don’t EVER build a shed under an oak tree. (They should at least put that in the assembly directions.)

And yet another reason I can't sleep:

I’ve never really had an alarm clock in my bedroom. I’m the type of person who wakes up whenever I tell myself to...sort of an internal alarm clock (but more because I wake up every hour.) Anyway, if I get nervous about having to wake up extra early for a very special event I just use the alarm on my cellphone...no problem.

Capt bought me a really sophisticated alarm clock last year. So sophisticated that the prerequisite for operation is a degree equivalent to NASA standards.....and I don’t possess such a degree. The damn thing goes off whenever it feels like and only if it knows I am in a deep sleep. Either a loud shrill alarm wakes me up from a sound sleep or loud, very loud rap music...I kinda prefer the rap music, if it would let me have a choice.

In addition, the colors on the LDD change constantly...all the colors of the rainbow....24/7. When the numbers and all the other blinking additions on the face of this clock change to yellow I wake up from the glow, much like a child shining a flashlight in your eyes. And as if that isn't bad enough, this alarm clock wears a clear sticker on the front that proudly states: Selectable LDD Color from the Rainbow - Super Loud Alarm.

Message to Timex: What have I ever done to you to deserve such torture? Whatever it was we’re even now. Leave me alone already!

Disclaimer: In all fairness to my wonderful boyfriend whom I apprechiate with my whole being, I picked out the demon-possessed alarm clock myself while we were shopping at Target one fine day. And now that I think about it I kinda put it in his cart when he wasn't looking or something and he wound out paying for it. Otherwise, he, being the electronic specialist that he is and having a compassionate soul, would not have knowingly subjected me to its venomous wrath.

THIRTEEN THURSDAY

13 Sentences Why I Could Not Sleep Last Night:

1. For the past 3 nights the television in my bedroom turns itself on at 9:53pm; I wake up and shut it off but it takes me awhile to get back to sleep because having the tv turn on by itself scares the Bejeezus out of me. (Does anyone have a clue as to how this could be happening?) (Is my house possessed?)

2. When I finally fell asleep (at 11:00pm) my lovely daughter Jen, whose bedroom is directly under mine, called my cellphone.

3. I answered it thinking it was an emergency because everyone that knows me knows that I am fast asleep by 9:00pm each and every night.

4. The emergency was that she had received an email that was sent to her from a woman scorned in Tennessee about a man that allegedly stole some money from her and Jen wanted to know if I knew who this guy was....I had received the same email earlier and deleted it because even though I do know the man involved, it's not my business so I'm staying out of it.

5. At about 3am I started to fall asleep again but had to wake up at 5am to get ready for the day.

6. When I got back home from working out at the gym it was 7:40am and I decided to jump back into bed and get some more sleep; I figured I could wake up at 9am and still have enough time to get to work before 10am.

8. Just as I was falling asleep, my son, Dave, twin to Jen, knocks on my door.

9. He's been complaining that his clothes keep disappearing, this morning was no different....last night he laid out his clothes for today on other bed in his other bedroom (he uses 2 bedrooms).

10. This morning the clothes were gone! (Again, is my house possessed?)

11. Now I am baffled as to who is stealing his clothes, but it is happening, he's not crazy, the clothes are missing.

12. That was it for my nap.

13. I thought my life would be so much easier when my kids grew up....I was wrong, very wrong.

Welcome to my Sunday Morning

This past Saturday night I had set my alarm for 3:30 am in order to be awake to take my neighbor John and his children to the Islip Airport for their 6am flight to California Sunday morning. They were going on a cruise to Alaska from there.

This was no problem for me since I am a morning person and am my sharpest and nicest in the early hours. I love mornings.

I drove to John's house and got there at 3:45. The kids were excited and were showing me some of their new clothes and sneakers they got for the trip. We all loaded ourselves and the luggage into John's 8 seater minivan and left to pick up their pastor and pastor's wife, Jay and Lena (not their real names to protect the guilty), they were going on the cruise as well.

Jay and Lena are not morning people at all. In fact, I used to be close friends with Lena years ago and although we grew apart, I still vividly remember how she could not wake up before 10am on any given day. Their church services start at 11am each Sunday just to accommodate her.

Jay and Lena have a daughter, Lisa. Lisa works for me as a receptionist. She is supposed to be at work at 9am to start answering the phones. She can only get there at 9:30am, no earlier because she cannot get up before then. Up until 11am she is dragging herself around, we don't talk to her much until after 11 when she gets perky and is a wonderful person to be around. There have been many meetings with the firm's partners to discuss terminating Lisa because of her tardiness, but she honestly is the best receptionist that ever worked there, so we keep her and answer the phones ourselves until she drags herself in. She's that good.

So at 4:45am we all leave Jay and Lena's house and head out for the airport. We get there at 5am, one hour before their flight is scheduled to leave, hey whatever, it I were on the flight I would have been there hours ago. After we say our goodbyes, I get into the driver's seat and proceed to drive back to John's house to pick up my SUV. I can't wait to get back to the comfort of my bed. It's 5:30 and I get into my house, take off my shoes and grab my cellphone. As I am pressing the off button I think to myself, "I don't want anyone to bother me because I want to sleep real late this morning...maybe until 8" when it goes off.

It's John. "Theresa, this is an emergency. The plane is about to board and Jay forgot his passport. He absolutely needs his passport to go on the cruise. Can you drive to his house, wake up Lisa so she can let you in, get his passport from his file cabinet and get it over to the airport ASAP?" "Sure", I say and off I went. All I can think of is how Lena must feel. She's kinda high strung and easily upset. Knowing her I'm sure she was yelling at Jay right then and I'm sure she's creating a big scene at the terminal.

I got to their house in record time and started beeping my horn in the driveway. I found a screwdriver on the porch and used the handle to start banging on the window of Lisa's bedroom and the side of the house and front screen door. The dogs were barking and going crazy inside. I started screaming, "LISA, LISA, OPEN THE DOOR, IT'S AN EMERGENCY", to no avail. About 10 minutes of this and Lisa comes to the door yelling at me, "THERESA. THEY'RE NOT HERE!!!!" I scream, "JUST LET ME IN, I NEED TO GET YOUR DAD'S PASSPORT". "I CAN'T OPEN THE DOOR", she yells back. "Lisa, I know you're half asleep right now but understand that your parent's can't go on the cruise if I don't get the passport RIGHT NOW, so OPEN THE DOOR" finally she opens the door, I hand her my cellphone so she can listen to her mom try to get her to calm down and I make a mad dash to the file cabinet. All the time she is yelling at me and being very nasty. She was even cursing at me, but she looked like she was sleep walking while she was doing all this.

I find the passport, yank my cellphone out of her hands and run down the driveway and get to the airport by 5:50am. Jay is waiting outside for me so as I screech to a stop, I roll down the passenger's side window and hand it off to him.

Now you would think that Jay would yell something like, "Thanks T" as he's running back into the airport to make the best use out of the precious seconds he has.....but NO!!! He slowly leans over the passenger's side window rests on his elbows and starts talking, very slowing, "Theresa,..... my angel ....
of .....mercy,.....thank......" I abruptly interrupt him with, "JAY, GET YOUR ASS INTO THE AIRPORT" as I stretch out my arm back and forth like a crazy woman, pointing the way to him. I'm sure I committed some violation of the 10 commandments with that comment to the pastor, but what the heck?

Later on that evening I got a call from John and I wasn't about to answer it. Hey, you can't blame me, he could have been calling to ask me to fax something somewhere or even worse. But he left a pleasant voice mail message telling me that Jay got into the plane 30 seconds before they shut the door. And they are on the ship and having a blast.

Today I went to work and met up with Lisa. She could not stop apologizing to me for being nasty. I kept telling her I understand, that I know some people are cranky in the morning, but she was really upset and thought that I was mad at her. When it was time for her to leave work she meekly came into my office and apologized again, this time with tears in her eyes. I told her to stop it, don't mention it again and forget about it. This is what makes a good story to tell your kids someday....the time I yelled and screamed at my boss like a lunatic while she was trying to do my parents a big favor.

Now that I think about it, she did get to work earlier than usual, hmmmm, maybe there is a happy ending for ME after all.

Fuzzy Friday

Every now and then my wonderful boyfriend, Capt, sends me flowers. And he sends them to me at my office. He always uses ProFlowers and every single time they are the most beautiful flowers. And every single time the flowers last for at least two weeks, sometimes three. I love flowers. I love flowers in my office. And I love that my client's visually see them and know that there is hope for them too, that after the gut-wrenching pain of a divorce, they can find peace and love like I have.
Aaaaaaaahhhhhh. Yesterday he sent me lilies and irises.

That is one of the few things that has changed in my life as I get older - new found love.

This is one of the other things that has changed in my life as I get older - allergies. I never had allergies before. Now I'm allergic to melon and pollen.

Yesterday morning my eyes started watering and turning red. Later on they got puffy. After lunch my throat got all sore and itchy. The staff were concerned about me, that's how bad it was. By 7pm (I work until 8 on Thursdays, by myself) I could hardly breathe.

So yesterday I found out I'm allergic to lilies because when I went home I felt 100% better.

The receptionist got a surprise when she came in this morning, a vase of lilies on her desk. When I came in to work this morning she thanked me. Then she and two of the secretaries came running into my office with looks of horror on their faces and wanted to know how I was going to tell Capt that he can't send me lilies anymore without hurting his feelings.

No problem. He reads my blog.