If I was to have a New Year's Resolution for 2009 it would be to become a better person.

This past year I was blessed enough to get a small glimpse at knowing a young woman.

She seemed like an ordinary woman who married a man with two teenage girls. They already had a child together when I met them. And later we all found out that she was pregnant. They had a baby boy, the first for him. Even though the baby had serious problems at birth and needed to be hospitalized for his first month, they were so proud and excited that he was born.

When they took the baby home they started to relax and get into a routine.

A month went by.

The whole family took a wonderful vacation to Florida and celebrated life.

They got back home and unpacked.

Then her husband suddenly died while attending their 5 year old daughter's birthday party. He died in his daughter's arms. They say he died before he even hit the ground, that's how fast it happened.

He did not prepare for his untimely death. [please, if you do not have a Will, make it a priority to have one done this year.]

Her stepchildren fought a difficult, emotional, embarrassing and painful fight, all while trying to grieve the loss of their father and attend high school, to have her be their guardian.

The reports that came back from the agencies that had to investigate her home were extensive and impressive. One spoke of "her unconditional love and kindness, her honesty and loving discipline are evidenced in her words and deeds".

The children won their fight.

I think, how can I be more like this young widow? This woman, who normally I would feel sorry for due to her situation, is far greater than me.

She knows what matters most in life, she has earned the love and devotion of her children, she has her priorities set right. And it is evidenced in her words and deeds.

That is what I would like to strive for this year; to have my priorities right, my motives correct, my heart in the right place....so that someday, maybe, I would feel "job well done" about my life.

Well Christmas is over and done with. It was filled with family, friends, great gifts, great food and a colonoscopy.

That whole sentence just isn't right.

But I see that when you turn 50 there are a few unpleasant requirements that beckon.

And you have to comply.

And you have to stop eating solid foods and only drink clear liquids.

And you have to prep.

And you have to show up with a responsible person to drive.

And you have to get put under.

And you have to try to wake up.

And you have to try to stand up.

And then the nurses realize that you are a wimp and need more time to recuperate, so back down you go.

And then after you have rested, they might ask you to come back the next day and do it all over again because maybe you didn't prep good enough.

I'm starting to think that the Fabulous Fifties are highly overrated.

I'm 50.

Hey there. Long time no see.

I guess turning 50 kicks the ever-living life out of you...I wasn't prepared for that.

So much has happened, I don't even know where to start.

My husband and father-in-law threw me a surprise party. And I didn't even have a clue!

However, I was wondering why my husband and his kids were dragging me out for breakfast at McDonald's at 8am on a Saturday morning because I'm not a fan of fast food, especially breakfast fast food. I was touched though, because when the children first get to our home for 'our' week they usually want alone time with their dad. I totally respect that and support it, so being invited to go out to breakfast with them should have been a clue.

But I'm clueless.

All I wanted to do was clean the house because the hardwood floors just got sanded and stained and the dust that keeps continuously settling out of no where is freaking me out. And all of the stuff that was put in other places in order to have the floors done still wasn't where it was supposed to be yet.

So when we got home at noon (apparently there were other important errands to run) my house was filled with family and friends. SURPRISE!!!! (Clueless=me) A lot of work and planning went into the party and it showed. I'm so thankful.

It was wonderful. And I didn't freak out about all the dust and clutter.

And that was a lame attempt at showing you a picture of the party, but alas, I am still a ditz of magnitude proportions and uploaded a picture of a stove in my garage that my husband is trying to sell. Hey, anyone interested?

See, I still don't know how to use the Dazzle yet, sorry.

But isn't it a cute stove?

Anyway, while the party was going on, I was on the cusp of getting my husband's sickness, the one I so fondly named 'The Hante Virus'. And this past week I've been down with it, while working the new job and the Clerk's job. So I haven't had the energy to be a blogger, sorry.

Oh, and I didn't get that plum job in Hartford. Here is a copy of the email the employment agency forwarded to me:

Just wanted to let you know that we will not be pursuing matters further with Theresa. We have offered the position to one of the other candidates who has many years of Connecticut family law experience and she has accepted our offer. As I indicated, we had condensed 172 resumes to 29 interviews to 6 second interviews to two final candidates of which Theresa was one. The determining factor was Connecticut family law versus New York family law and this individual fell into our laps and can come in and be productive from day one.

We were, however, extremely impressed with Theresa and if something changes or this individual doesn't work out for whatever reason, I will let you know.


And now in true Scarlett O'Hara fashion: I am going to concentrate on being the best Probate Clerk and part-time Legal Assistant there ever was. And I will never, ever be second pick again! (Apparently, I am still not well).

It's my birthday.

And I'm really tired from a very busy day yesterday. Very....

I think I'll have a better chance of getting breakfast in bed if I'm actually in bed, so I'm going back to bed now.

I'll be back later when my head is clearer.

Another day closer to my big birthday.

I got some presents in the mail yesterday. My mom and dad sent me a gift certificate to a spa...how cool is that? I can't wait to get to use it, I just can't decide between an anti-age facial or a deep tissue massage. Big decisions.

My brother-in-law and sister-in-law sent me a book on secrets for blogging your way to a six-figure income....I'll let you all know how that turns out. And a funny book about divas. They really know me well!

Last night my husband was making dinner and I got all teary about how stressful these past couple of days have been with the Court moving to another facility in town and all the packing and unpacking, all the setting up and reorganizing my office, then starting a new part-time job in a law office and having to learn everyone's name and how things are done and all the new computer software....it's been a bit tough, especially for me with my memory issues.

During all this chaos I've also been chosen as a top candidate for a very plum position at a large firm doing what I love the most. I've gone on two interviews and taken numerous tests. Out of 175 applicants I'm one of three left for them to choose from. If I get this job, I'll not only be happy, but will be earning a decent living. So keep me in prayer please.

So while my husband was busy cooking a delicious dinner for the both of us and simultaneously preparing tomorrow's dinner (Shepard's pie from scratch - yum), the pans were a'flying and the stove top was filled with pots a'boilin' he said, "Do you think I've been sitting around eating bon-bons?"

And I stopped right there in the midst of my pity party and said, "You say that like that's a bad thing."

But honestly, I am so grateful for so much at this time in my life.

When I think of the year 2001 and how I thought my life was over because I was dealing with the worst form of betrayal possible and thought I should be able to die from that stabbing emotional pain, and I look at all I have today, I could not be more grateful.

Go Shorty

My husband has had a fever and stuffy nose for 3 days. I like to fondly call it 'The Hante Virus'.

I haven't been able to sleep because he hasn't been able to sleep due to lack of breathing through his stuffy nose.

Last night I insisted that he take some Sudafed, you know, those little red over-the-counter pills that you have to sign and show your ID for at the pharmacy because bad people chop them up and make Chrystal Meth with them.

Right before bed I told him that there are two little red pills for him on the kitchen counter and to take them. There was no 'please' in my demand; I do need my beauty sleep after all.

Due to those blessed pills, last night we both slept heavenly....until 2am when the Sudafed abruptly wore off.

"Babe, do you want me to get you anything? A drink of water? Some more Advil? Let me go down stairs and get you some more Sudafed?", I asked in the most pleasant, angelic, wifely voice I could muster at that ungodly hour.

"Stop with the Sudafed already, who are you, my drug pusher already?", was his groggy reply.

"No, but you wanna be my...." On second thought, maybe I shouldn't finish writing what I said. It was funny though.

I'm just hoping that 4 hours of sleep will be enough for me today, since I am starting a new part-time job.

And since my BIG birthday is next week...let the celebration demands begin! I don't have any blog-giveaways, since my finances are suffering from a horrible illness much worse than 'The Hante Virus', so I've come up with a virtual party plan...

Today friends, please stand up right now and do a little dance to this:

Question

Does anyone know what has happened to Antique Mommy? Her site hasn't been working.