And Yet....

What a wonderful, glorious Thanksgiving. Actually two Thanksgivings. One on Shelter Island with my children and Capt and the other with Capt and his family.

It’s been a whirlwind of a week. An exhausting week. It’s great to be home, well sort of. I’m staying at a neighbor’s house watching his children while he is in Aruba with his girlfriend. I’m doing him this favor because he totally remodeled one of my bathrooms for an obscene discount. OBSCENE I tell you!

Anyway, I’ve been pondering something for a few days. When you focus on one thing so intently, like painters do when they focus on painting just a leaf on a tree, you fail to see the whole picture clearly. This weekend I got to meet, now try to follow me here, Capt’s ex-wife’s fiance’s ex-wife. Her children are going to be Capt’s children step siblings this summer.

As a side note, many of you know that I am a matrimonial paralegal and I specialize in custody and visitation matters. I see it all, the bad and ugly mostly....and very, very, rarely the good.

Meeting Kate (not her real name, but one of my favorite names because I really like her) was kind of mind-boggling, and great. We watched PookieBear and Kate’s daughter at basketball practice, they are on the same team since her children and Capt’s children reside together half of the time. Most of the time I sit there feeling a little uncomfortable, so does she.

Kate and Capt are in the same position, each co-parenting with their former spouses. They make it work. I asked Kate how she gets passed all the hurt and Kate said something to me that Capt says all the time, “I focus on what’s best for my kids”.

If more divorced parents actually looked past the leaf of anger and vengeance and saw the harmony in the distance that awaits for their children, children would be more balanced . And I’d be unemployed. And I’d get some good sleep.

And yet.

SECOND Post a Deed

Here it is Tuesday again. It always appears to me that as the holidays get closer, the days go more quickly.

I have received several more deeds to post, one of these I copied from a comment on another blog when there was a discussion about the holidays.

May you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

1. My absolute best Christmas memory was as a kid when we bought a very needy family an ENTIRE Christmas, bikes for the kids, groceries, tons of stuff...left it on their doorstep and rang the bell and hid...
That was priceless.

2. I'm 11 years old and I volunteer at a local Nursing Home.

3. On Thanksgiving I make an announcement at church to invite people that don't have a place to come over my house for the day.

4. I pick out a letter from the post office addressed to Santa every year and get a gift for the child that wrote it.

5. After my neighbor's husband died in 9/11, I try to spend time with her children and do things with them that their father used to do.

If you'd like to send me a deed to post anonymously, please email me at BlessedOne1211@Yahoo.com.

First Post A Deed

Well, this is the first "Post A Deed". Every Tuesday I plan on posting 10 deeds that you send to me in an effort to encourage, heal and lighten our spirits. Here goes:

1. I was standing outside my apartment and saw a woman with a backpack talking to the police, shaking her head and obviously protesting something. I didn't pay her much mind because I was off to church.

On the way to church, I stopped in at the local coffeeshop and she was there, standing and looking out the window. "Everything OK?" I asked her. Seeing her surprise that I spoke I told her. "I saw you and the police talking a few minutes ago."

"I'm on my way to my sister's" she said, but they thought I was homeless, so I told them I was meeting someone here. But I don't know anyone here and they are watching me to see if I meet anyone. If I don't, they want to take me downtown." I could see why they thought her homeless. And honestly, she might have been. She was disheveled, unkempt and smelled.

"Then have a cup of coffee with me." I said. "We'll sit in the front window and you can wave at them." And that's what we did. She talked for half an hour and it turned out she really was homeless, but going to see her sister, but she had to get to the bus station. I drove her to the bus pickup on the way to church and left her there.

"Thank you." she said. "For treating me like a person. I don't get a lot of that."

And people wondered why I was smiling at church that day!

2. I am a school teacher but unable to work because of physical disabilities..I look after my 75 yr old Mom and 84 yr old aunt. We manage on pension money. I work (voluntary) for my small church too.


3. When I found out that someone I knew was contemplating suicide, I took him out to dinner and a movie and made sure he was getting the professional help he needs. He told me how much he enjoyed feeling happy again.

4. The pastor and his wife at my church are struggling financially. Once a month I volunteer to babysit so they can have a date night together.

5. The elderly woman in front of me at the supermarket checkout counter was digging in her purse for coins to pay for her groceries. I was apparent that she was confused and on a limited budget. When she wasn't looking, I handed the cashier extra money to pay her bill.

6. I wrote a thank you note to my old teacher letting her know that I appreciated all the time she took to help me learn. I was a difficult child.

7. I overheard a young mother explaining to her daughter why they couldn’t afford new clothes at WalMart, so I handed the little girl a hundred dollar bill and told the mother that I once struggled like that too. Then I walked away very quickly.

8. While I was walking down a busy street I passed a woman who was crying hysterically. I turned around and asked if she needed a hug.

9. I gave a neighborhood teenager a ride when I saw that she was caught in the rainstorm without an umbrella.

10. When a woman was stuck in the store during her lunch hour because of a torrential downpour without an umbrella, I walked her to her office and shared my umbrella with her, even though we both got half soaked.


I hope you enjoyed these.

If you'd like to send a deed you can e-mail me at BlessedOne1211 at Yahoo.com.

Veteran's Day

In honor of Veteran's Day I'd like to say thanks to all the soldiers that have fought, are awaiting deployment and are fighting for this country. And special thanks to my boyfriend Capt, who is an officer in the National Guard and Air Force, You Rock Babe!

And a special thanks from me, PookieBear and Boy to the military bigwigs for your repeated postponement of Capt's deployment to Afghanistan....Sirs, you rock too, Sirs! *salutes*

Inspiration

Wow, check THIS out.

I am speechless.

Saturday Night

Saturday Night:

Capt: "Babe, it's only 8:30, I can't fall asleep this earl..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Me: "Giggle, giggle, gigglzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

OH YES....WE ARE SUCH PARTY ANIMALS!!!!!!!

Post a Good Deed

I'd like to try something new. Every Tuesday I'd like to post good deeds that you send to me via e-mail.

I got the idea from the sites about true confessions and post a secret. I got to thinking that it would be nice to read about good things that people have done in secret.

Many of us, me included, believe that it is better to do something and not let anyone else that we've done it.....you know, "Don't let the left hand know what the right hand is doing" kind of thing. This would be a great way of not only still keeping it anonymous, but give other blog readers ideas of good deeds that they might like to do for someone else.

I'll give an example:

When I saw the teenagers collectively counting their dollars to come up with the cost of the pizza pie, I pulled out my wallet and paid their tab. The look of surprise and delight on their faces was priceless.

If you'd like to join in you can e-mail me at: BlessedOne1211 at Yahoo.com I will keep your deed confidential and post them on Tuesdays.

Please Pray

Good Morning Friends,

I'd like to ask you to pray for a family from the small town in Connecticut that I speak of frequently.

From what I've been told, this past Saturday a 12 year old boy and his parents were arguing. The boy told his parents that he was going to "hang himself" and stormed out of the room. A while later the father came in and found him. It appears that the boy attempted his threat and accidentally died.

I just cannot image the pain the family is going through.

The two issues I am praying about are these:

First: That the father, and family, feel the loving presence of grace and peace of our Father. That a spirit of forgiveness enters into their hearts in a supernatural way.

Second: That the children of the town keep a levelness of reality during this time of grief. That these children do not idolize the attention that this incident has generated. That the parents, teachers and school staff in the town have the wisdom to guide their children through the grief correctly.

Thank you.

Open Letter to My Son, Dave

Dear Dave,

I never thought I could love you more than the day I first saw your pudgy angelic face. But I do, each day I love you even more. You are my first born son and that will always be a place of honor in my life.

But Dave, what the heck is going on? Why didn’t you tell me? I thought we were closer than that, I thought you were in a different place in your life. I thought you were heading towards your goal of becoming a great screenplay writer, full force. I am so proud of what you have done with your life.

Here you are in your third year of one of the most difficult writing conservatories in the country. My god Dave, only 20 students out of 2,000 applicants get in and you and Scarlett Johansen were picked. Scarlett Johansen Dave! Okay, she dropped out last minute to pursue “something” else, but you are with the best and you are at the top of your class.

You are in college. You have an SUV that is reliable, dependable and in good condition. What ever possessed you to purchase a brand new motorcycle? While you are in college? When you don’t even have any place to put it? When it just sits in the college parking lot ready for someone to come by with a truck and steal it? When you are supposed to be concentrating on your writing? When you are struggling financially? When you are planning on moving to China next year for a whole year? When it about to start snowing where you live? Where oh where are you going to store this overpriced DANGEROUS toy? Huh? And............. what if you get hurt...... or worse.......?

You purchased this three months ago and I‘m only finding out about it now. And only because I needed something in your room and found the paperwork.

Is it because I went ballistic when you were 21 and I was waking you up and found out that you had a huge tattoo on your back that you had gotten months before? Is it because I help you out financially while you are in college and you are afraid I will stop?

I’m glad your credit is so excellent that you can finance a $10,000 motorcycle. I really am. And I’m glad that you are enjoying your 20's. I really am. I’m glad that you are working on your lifelong dream. And I am proud of you that you are successful at what you are doing.

I’m just not really sure you made a good decision here. And I usually trust that you do make the right decisions. I’m just hurt that you made this decision, hid it from me, and forced me see how independent you really are from me.

You know I love you. No matter what. Just tell me one thing...when you cross the street you look both ways, right?