And Yet....

What a wonderful, glorious Thanksgiving. Actually two Thanksgivings. One on Shelter Island with my children and Capt and the other with Capt and his family.

It’s been a whirlwind of a week. An exhausting week. It’s great to be home, well sort of. I’m staying at a neighbor’s house watching his children while he is in Aruba with his girlfriend. I’m doing him this favor because he totally remodeled one of my bathrooms for an obscene discount. OBSCENE I tell you!

Anyway, I’ve been pondering something for a few days. When you focus on one thing so intently, like painters do when they focus on painting just a leaf on a tree, you fail to see the whole picture clearly. This weekend I got to meet, now try to follow me here, Capt’s ex-wife’s fiance’s ex-wife. Her children are going to be Capt’s children step siblings this summer.

As a side note, many of you know that I am a matrimonial paralegal and I specialize in custody and visitation matters. I see it all, the bad and ugly mostly....and very, very, rarely the good.

Meeting Kate (not her real name, but one of my favorite names because I really like her) was kind of mind-boggling, and great. We watched PookieBear and Kate’s daughter at basketball practice, they are on the same team since her children and Capt’s children reside together half of the time. Most of the time I sit there feeling a little uncomfortable, so does she.

Kate and Capt are in the same position, each co-parenting with their former spouses. They make it work. I asked Kate how she gets passed all the hurt and Kate said something to me that Capt says all the time, “I focus on what’s best for my kids”.

If more divorced parents actually looked past the leaf of anger and vengeance and saw the harmony in the distance that awaits for their children, children would be more balanced . And I’d be unemployed. And I’d get some good sleep.

And yet.

SECOND Post a Deed

Here it is Tuesday again. It always appears to me that as the holidays get closer, the days go more quickly.

I have received several more deeds to post, one of these I copied from a comment on another blog when there was a discussion about the holidays.

May you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

1. My absolute best Christmas memory was as a kid when we bought a very needy family an ENTIRE Christmas, bikes for the kids, groceries, tons of stuff...left it on their doorstep and rang the bell and hid...
That was priceless.

2. I'm 11 years old and I volunteer at a local Nursing Home.

3. On Thanksgiving I make an announcement at church to invite people that don't have a place to come over my house for the day.

4. I pick out a letter from the post office addressed to Santa every year and get a gift for the child that wrote it.

5. After my neighbor's husband died in 9/11, I try to spend time with her children and do things with them that their father used to do.

If you'd like to send me a deed to post anonymously, please email me at BlessedOne1211@Yahoo.com.

First Post A Deed

Well, this is the first "Post A Deed". Every Tuesday I plan on posting 10 deeds that you send to me in an effort to encourage, heal and lighten our spirits. Here goes:

1. I was standing outside my apartment and saw a woman with a backpack talking to the police, shaking her head and obviously protesting something. I didn't pay her much mind because I was off to church.

On the way to church, I stopped in at the local coffeeshop and she was there, standing and looking out the window. "Everything OK?" I asked her. Seeing her surprise that I spoke I told her. "I saw you and the police talking a few minutes ago."

"I'm on my way to my sister's" she said, but they thought I was homeless, so I told them I was meeting someone here. But I don't know anyone here and they are watching me to see if I meet anyone. If I don't, they want to take me downtown." I could see why they thought her homeless. And honestly, she might have been. She was disheveled, unkempt and smelled.

"Then have a cup of coffee with me." I said. "We'll sit in the front window and you can wave at them." And that's what we did. She talked for half an hour and it turned out she really was homeless, but going to see her sister, but she had to get to the bus station. I drove her to the bus pickup on the way to church and left her there.

"Thank you." she said. "For treating me like a person. I don't get a lot of that."

And people wondered why I was smiling at church that day!

2. I am a school teacher but unable to work because of physical disabilities..I look after my 75 yr old Mom and 84 yr old aunt. We manage on pension money. I work (voluntary) for my small church too.


3. When I found out that someone I knew was contemplating suicide, I took him out to dinner and a movie and made sure he was getting the professional help he needs. He told me how much he enjoyed feeling happy again.

4. The pastor and his wife at my church are struggling financially. Once a month I volunteer to babysit so they can have a date night together.

5. The elderly woman in front of me at the supermarket checkout counter was digging in her purse for coins to pay for her groceries. I was apparent that she was confused and on a limited budget. When she wasn't looking, I handed the cashier extra money to pay her bill.

6. I wrote a thank you note to my old teacher letting her know that I appreciated all the time she took to help me learn. I was a difficult child.

7. I overheard a young mother explaining to her daughter why they couldn’t afford new clothes at WalMart, so I handed the little girl a hundred dollar bill and told the mother that I once struggled like that too. Then I walked away very quickly.

8. While I was walking down a busy street I passed a woman who was crying hysterically. I turned around and asked if she needed a hug.

9. I gave a neighborhood teenager a ride when I saw that she was caught in the rainstorm without an umbrella.

10. When a woman was stuck in the store during her lunch hour because of a torrential downpour without an umbrella, I walked her to her office and shared my umbrella with her, even though we both got half soaked.


I hope you enjoyed these.

If you'd like to send a deed you can e-mail me at BlessedOne1211 at Yahoo.com.

Veteran's Day

In honor of Veteran's Day I'd like to say thanks to all the soldiers that have fought, are awaiting deployment and are fighting for this country. And special thanks to my boyfriend Capt, who is an officer in the National Guard and Air Force, You Rock Babe!

And a special thanks from me, PookieBear and Boy to the military bigwigs for your repeated postponement of Capt's deployment to Afghanistan....Sirs, you rock too, Sirs! *salutes*

Inspiration

Wow, check THIS out.

I am speechless.

Saturday Night

Saturday Night:

Capt: "Babe, it's only 8:30, I can't fall asleep this earl..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Me: "Giggle, giggle, gigglzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

OH YES....WE ARE SUCH PARTY ANIMALS!!!!!!!