Time to Play: Worst Dates

This past weekend Capt and I had a great date night we went here and here. We had a cute conversation about our dating lives before we found each other and shared some interesting stories.

Although I didn’t go on as many dates as Capt did, some of the few that I went on were strange.

The first date was with a man my daughter fixed me up with from an internet dating site. I met him at a local restaurant. One of the first things he asked me was for pictures of my children....I didn’t have any. I explained why I didn’t and he starting getting angry at me....”how could you not have pictures of your children in your wallet?” I explained that they were older and they don’t get their picture taken every year like younger children do. During dinner he told me wild stories about meeting women the first time and having them leave to go to the ladies room and not coming back. Hmmmmm, RED FLAG!!!! When I pushed my plate away, after only eating half of my dinner, he looked at me with fiery eyes and said, “You’re not going to finish that?” “Ummm, no I’ll take the rest home and eat it for lunch tomorrow.”, I said. “Did you eat before you came here?”, he said through clenched teeth. Yeah, I understand why those women left through the bathroom windows....NEXT!

Then there was this nice man, my age, lived in my town....we talked for hours on the phone about interesting stuff. I couldn’t wait to meet him. We met at a diner on a Sunday after we went to our respective churches. He was dressed kinda weird. A stripped zoot suit, purple tie and bright pink shirt. “Okay”, I thought, “Maybe it was a special church service, like ‘flamboyant Sunday’ or something like that.” After lunch we walked to his car....a Red PT Cruiser with flames on the front panels. I’m a plain-jane type gal myself, not into flamboyancy...I don’t like a lot of attention. Yet, I gave him one more chance. We met for lunch a week later during the work week. He came dressed with a bright yellow shirt, red tie and a similar zoot suit....everyone was turning their heads to see him and then shaking their heads as if to say, “wwwwwaaaaaacko”. We ate lunch and I asked him why he divorced his wife. He told me that his wife was sick for a long time and he couldn’t take it anymore. NEXT!

Then there was the firefighter who I dated for 10 months and found out that he was still searching for other dates while dating me.

But then I met Capt. And the madness ended.

I know that a lot of my readers married their childhood sweethearts and/or have been married for a long time *jealous eyeroll*. But I'd love to hear some of your stories on dates that went very wrong.

Thankful Thursday

I’m thankful that my 26 year old son is getting a play that he wrote published.

I’m thankful that his twin, Jen, is a successful artist.

I’m thankful that my 24 year old son is in the field that he loves too.

I’m thankful for the special man in my life that loves me back.

I’m thankful for the South Beach Diet - YOU ROCK!- because in one week I lost 7lbs....although it might be from all the massive daily shopping, prepping, cutting, chopping, food processing, cooking, baking, sauteeing, cleaning up, etc. that goes along with the diet that burns off the calories.

Wordless Wednesday

PookieBear at her luau birthday party last month.

Khutspe Mama

Mom just called me at work a few minutes ago.

My little Jewish, gray haired, post-Bloomingdale's shopper, just recovering from brain surgery due to a fall from her horse, sweet, wouldn't hurt a fly, Mom told me this story:

Mom: "Theresa, I have a great story for your blog".

(Hmmmmm, I didn't know Mom read my blog.)

YNB: "What happened Mom?"

Mom: "Yesterday me and Dad went to the stable so that he can go on a long ride with his friends (riding horses) so I stayed behind with two girls ages 11 and 12. One of the girls screams, 'Rose, come here and bring your gun there's a big snake'. So I run over with my 22 and start shooting at this huge snake with an orange head."

YNB: "Mom, Dad gave you your gun back?" (Okay, I only thought that.)

Mom: "I just kept shooting and shooting, but my gun is too small and it was hard to aim. But some man came by and killed it with a shovel. Now everyone here says I'm finally a true southerner." (They used to just call them "Damn Yankees".

There are a lot of obvious issues here that I can hash over but after everything we've been through with the accident and the surgeries and all the praying, right now all I can think of is, "Yeah, Mom's back".

And I'm feeling a little.......(sniff)...."Verklempt".

How Not to Run a Hair Salon

Approximately 6 weeks ago I went to a new hair colorist, James, to fix the perpetual problem I have been having with my hair. The last time I tried to get it fixed I wound up with jet black hair and I’m naturally golden light brown.

James is a 23 year old straight kid who knows his stuff when it comes to hair coloring. He told me all about himself during the 4 hours it took to get things “right” with my hair. He is engaged to the love of his life, they are expecting a baby in 6 months, they just bought a house and opened the hair coloring business together, but she is having horrible morning sickness and can’t seem to get to work. James was working alone at his shop and was very busy.

While he was telling me his life story I pictured a happy life with a woman of a similar age to his just starting out in life and happily awaiting the arrival of their first baby....don't you? And I was thinking how nice, stable and successful he must be.

Then I went in for a touch up a few days ago.

James sits me down and there is some really heavy late 40ish woman starts yelling at him in a demeaning way from across the salon. This woman has a potty mouth....no actually she would put a truck driver to shame with what was coming out of her mouth.

This woman, I will call Agnes, had long strands of black hair and very short strands of hair poking out all over the place. She was telling everyone, in a loud abrasive voice, that her hair melted when James dyed it the day before and that her hair used to cover her fat butt (her words not mine) and now that @#**&% of a @#**&% better put hair extensions in for her!!!!!

James politely tells her something and then it all becomes crystal clear......Agnes and James own the salon. Agnes, who has 4 bratty children already from all different fathers, whom she lost custody because of her pot smoking, is now pregnant with James' child. (I learned all this info as well while sitting there with hair dye in my hair scared out of my mind, by the way, that James will melt my hair off too).

Just then a woman comes into the salon, a woman who used to date Agnes' brother. Agnes tells her that her brother is now dating a 60 year old woman, "like 10 years his senior". And the three of them start laughing their butts off! Like this older woman who actually is 58, not 60, is wacked out of her mind for dating a younger man....HELLO!!!! what are YOU doing Agnes????? There's over 20 years difference between you and James!!!!!

My drama session gets worse.....Agnes and James have to tell this ex-girlfriend what Agnes' brother told them about her "down there parts". And she starts guessing obscene things.

That's when I chimed in, "Ummm, excuse me, I can't take all this drama anymore, could you wait until I leave in a few minutes to finish this conversation?" I'm not kidding, I really said that. And when my hair was done - and looking mighty fine - I paid and as I left they asked me if this was the most fun salon ever? I said, "I can't wait to blog about this place". Then they all started getting excited and said that they are going to get more publicity for the salon. I just smiled and left. They should only know.

And the most disturbing thing of all is that I am going to go back in 6 weeks because James is THE MAN when it comes to my hair, even if he most likely won't be "the man" in any other area of his life.....just sayin'.

Aaaaaaaawwwwwww

This past weekend PookieBear and I went shopping at the mall. I bought a set of hot rollers for her hair because she had gotten a hair cut with long layers earlier that day and I thought curls would look great. Well....I was right, she looks adorable.

Last night when I was speaking with her dad, I asked how her hair came out since I left before her bedtime on Sunday leaving the curlers still in for her to take out.

Capt said that he has been using the hot rollers on her hair every morning now.

I have a picture in my mind's eye that is just so adorable. And I smile everytime I think about this big, burly, manly-man that I love, curling his sweet 11 year old daughter's hair.